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Articles by
Alexis Pooley
Alexis Pooley has an MFA from UBC and lives in London, Ontario with this dog.
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January 9, 2025Time to Grab the Dusty Old Expired Bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide to Clean This Wound
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May 21, 2024Ballet Flats Are Back—Can’t Wait for My Feet to Hurt and Stink for Fashion
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October 25, 2023I Love When the Leaves Turn Beautiful Colors and Fall to Their Deaths
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May 16, 2023I’m the Person Who Designs Open-Plan Office Spaces, Despite Never Having Actually Worked in One
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March 22, 2023I Don’t Eat Gluten or Dairy Anymore Except for When I Do
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February 27, 2023Gonna Pop These Overripe Bananas in the Freezer Until I’m Ready to Take Them Out and Throw Them in the Garbage
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September 20, 2022Should I Bring Anything to the Dinner Tonight or Just My Crippling Anxiety?
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August 22, 2022Wake Up, You Lazy Skin Sack. I’m a Songbird and It’s 4 A.M.
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August 9, 2022Wow, I Didn’t Expect to Run into You While I Was Wearing This Stupid New Bucket Hat
Trending 🔥
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
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February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
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February 19, 2025How Our Pants Fit
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February 19, 2025Short Conversations with Poets: Matthew Zapruder
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February 19, 2025I Gave a Thousand Typewriters to a Thousand Monkeys, but Instead of Hamlet, They Just Keep Writing Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar
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February 18, 2025Thanks to Our New Efficiency Czar, the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Is Saving More Money Than Ever