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Articles by
Christian Lynch
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July 22, 2019The 2020 Democratic Presidential Candidates Easily Explained Through the 1998 Vampire Action Movie, Blade
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January 26, 2012New Hire Form Letter For the Modern American Worker
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September 28, 2011Aging Action Star Loses His Edge
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January 24, 2011How Many Times Must I Blink “I’m Sorry”?
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June 15, 2010Mrs. Yates’ 3rd Grade Class Receives a New Message from Space
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April 23, 2010An Apology from the Maker of Fun ’N Easy Edible Frozen Pizza Treats
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March 1, 2010Coffee Bean Comment Cards as Written by a Recently Laid-Off Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien Staffer
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February 19, 2021I’m a Short Afternoon Walk and You’re Putting Way Too Much Pressure on Me
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February 22, 2021The UX on this Small Child Is Terrible
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February 16, 2021As a Superhero Teacher, I Can’t Wait to Sacrifice My Unvaccinated Life for Your Child
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February 24, 2021I Oppose the Democrats’ Plan to Lower Child Poverty. If Kids Want to Eat, They Should Work In Filthy Factories Like They Did in the Good Old Days
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February 26, 2021As a Staunch Defender of American Liberty, I Refuse to Let Trans People Infringe on My Rights as a White, Straight, Cisgender Congresswoman From Georgia
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February 26, 2021You’re Having a Bad Trip, Charlie Brown!
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February 25, 2021714 Epidemiologists on When We Can Resume Fixating on Petty Bullshit
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February 25, 2021Famous Philosophers in Quarantine