ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Colin Heasley
Colin Heasley is originally from Cortland, New York. His humor writing has appeared in Reductress, Electric Literature, The Offing, and The New Yorker, and he currently lives in Los Angeles with his partner.
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March 11, 2024My Year of Election Fatigue and Relaxation
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December 14, 2023Yep, This Supporting Character Is Definitely About to Die
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October 30, 2023The Problem Is the Human Finger
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October 16, 2023So, You Assume I Do Not Know of the Wide-Leg Jean?
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February 17, 2022The Lunch Lady from the High School in Euphoria Announces This Week’s Menu
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August 12, 2019PR Emails From Hell
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July 9, 2019Public Disgrace Generator
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April 24, 2019Popular Thirst Traps Throughout History
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December 7, 2018Famous Authors’ ASMR Props
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May 10, 2016Increasingly Convoluted Think Piece Titles About Apologizing
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October 29, 2015Are You J. Crew, J. Jill, J. Mendel, or J. Edgar Hoover?
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July 15, 2024I Can’t Believe Such a Hateful, Violent Act Could Happen in the Hateful, Violent Era I’ve Created
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July 12, 2024Schedule of Speakers for the 2024 Republican National Convention
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July 16, 2024Hillbilly Elegy Edited for J. D. Vance’s Vice Presidential Campaign
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May 10, 2024What Your Favorite ’90s Band Says About the Kind of Bored Suburban Mom You Are Today
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July 26, 2024I’m a Childless Cat Lady, and If Trump and Vance Win I’m Going to Start a Sexual Relationship with My Couch
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July 26, 2024Skills You Need as President of the United States or Skills You Need as a Stepmom?
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July 26, 2024If They’d Told Me We Were Poor, I Wouldn’t Have Tolerated the Cynics
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July 26, 2024We Went Ahead and Made an AI Olympian