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Articles by
Colin Heasley
Colin Heasley is originally from Cortland, New York. His humor writing has appeared in Reductress, Electric Literature, The Offing, and The New Yorker, and he currently lives in Los Angeles with his partner.
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March 11, 2024My Year of Election Fatigue and Relaxation
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December 14, 2023Yep, This Supporting Character Is Definitely About to Die
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October 30, 2023The Problem Is the Human Finger
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October 16, 2023So, You Assume I Do Not Know of the Wide-Leg Jean?
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February 17, 2022The Lunch Lady from the High School in Euphoria Announces This Week’s Menu
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August 12, 2019PR Emails From Hell
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July 9, 2019Public Disgrace Generator
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April 24, 2019Popular Thirst Traps Throughout History
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December 7, 2018Famous Authors’ ASMR Props
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May 10, 2016Increasingly Convoluted Think Piece Titles About Apologizing
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October 29, 2015Are You J. Crew, J. Jill, J. Mendel, or J. Edgar Hoover?
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March 27, 2024Class Is Canceled Until Further Notice While I Do My Job
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April 5, 2024I’m the Draft List at This Brewery and No, You Can’t Have a Light Beer
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April 3, 2024Emails from My Dentist That Would Actually Make Me Schedule an Appointment
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March 2, 2022Selected Negative Teaching Evaluations of Jesus Christ