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Articles by
Eddie Small
Eddie Small is a writer whose work has been published in The New Yorker and The Onion.
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October 16, 2024A Sociological Guide to the Parents at Your Local Playground
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August 23, 2024We Have Updated Our Children’s Menu Options to Better Reflect What We See Your Children Doing in Our Restaurant
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July 24, 2024You Are Almost Out of Google Storage Space
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June 12, 2024Things to do in a Hotel Room After Your Child Falls Asleep at 7:30 p.m.
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March 12, 2024I Guess I Will Just Keep Standing Here While You Fix the Sink
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February 23, 2024A Timeline of My Attempt to Drink a Beer on a Friday Night Before My Toddler Goes to Bed
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February 5, 2024Feedback on Short Film Video Call to Grandma and Grandpa
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August 29, 2023I Don’t Have Much Interest in Talking to You, But Our Toddlers Just Started Playing Together at This Playground, So I Guess We’re Doing This
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April 18, 2023Chicka Chicka Boom Boom: The Action Movie Trailer
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March 2, 2023I Will Explain My Book to You As Soon as I Finish Having This Panic Attack
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July 5, 2022Holding My Baby Will Not Be a Stressful Experience for You at All
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May 27, 2022Starcourt Mall is Closing
Trending 🔥
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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October 15, 2024Is It Perimenopause or the Fascist Death Knell of Late-Stage Capitalism?
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner
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October 31, 2024How to Burn Off Halloween Candy Calories: 2024 Election Edition
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October 31, 2024270 Reasons: Because If You Don’t Want to Live in The Handmaid’s Tale, You Really Need to Vote Harris-Walz
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October 31, 2024I’m Voting for Trump Because of the Things He Says He’ll Do, Which I Don’t Actually Believe He’ll Do