NEW E-BOOK ALERT!
From now until December 31st, become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron and receive a Patreon-exclusive e-book, KEEP ON SCROLLIN’ DON’T STOP, the bonus companion to our print collection, KEEP SCROLLING TILL YOU FEEL SOMETHING. A pledge of $3 (or more) per month is all it takes. Click here to become a patron today!
Eena Ruffini is a writer, stand-up comedian and aspiring adult. Her work has appeared in McSweeney’s, Anderbo, The Washington Post and a mostly-empty bullet journal. She does not own a car, cloth napkins or her apartment.