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Articles by
Jake Swearingen
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October 28, 2016The Adult Haunted House of Horrors
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May 22, 2013Captive Audience SEO
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January 30, 2013The #MostDangerousGame
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December 23, 2010My Tenure as Holiday Party Planner Was Long, Controversial, and Will Be Ultimately Vindicated by History
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October 20, 2006From The Grad Schoolyard: The Diarrhea Song
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March 8, 2001How Important Moments In My Life Would Have Been Different If I Was Shot Twice In The Stomach At Close Range
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February 19, 2021I’m a Short Afternoon Walk and You’re Putting Way Too Much Pressure on Me
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February 22, 2021The UX on this Small Child Is Terrible
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February 24, 2021I Oppose the Democrats’ Plan to Lower Child Poverty. If Kids Want to Eat, They Should Work In Filthy Factories Like They Did in the Good Old Days
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February 16, 2021As a Superhero Teacher, I Can’t Wait to Sacrifice My Unvaccinated Life for Your Child
Recently
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February 26, 2021The Cure’s “Friday I’m in Love” for Nihilists
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February 26, 2021As a Staunch Defender of American Liberty, I Refuse to Let Trans People Infringe on My Rights as a White, Straight, Cisgender Congresswoman from Georgia
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February 26, 2021You’re Having a Bad Trip, Charlie Brown!
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February 25, 2021714 Epidemiologists on When We Can Resume Fixating on Petty Bullshit