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Articles by
Jake Swearingen
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October 28, 2016The Adult Haunted House of Horrors
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May 22, 2013Captive Audience SEO
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January 30, 2013The #MostDangerousGame
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December 23, 2010My Tenure as Holiday Party Planner Was Long, Controversial, and Will Be Ultimately Vindicated by History
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October 19, 2006From The Grad Schoolyard: The Diarrhea Song
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March 8, 2001How Important Moments In My Life Would Have Been Different If I Was Shot Twice In The Stomach At Close Range
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September 3, 2020Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing (So Far): Atrocities 1-889
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September 22, 2020It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 14, 2020I Appreciate Your Concern, But Our Enormous Wedding Was Socially Distanced
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September 1, 2020Quiz: Are You the Worst Fucking Parent?
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September 22, 2020I’m the Guy Who Asks If Your Loved One Who Died From COVID-19 Had Any Pre-Existing Conditions
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September 22, 2020Critical Theories of the Pumpkin Spice Latte
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September 22, 2020It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 21, 2020The Best Way to Honor Feminist Icon Ruth Bader Ginsburg Is to Show How the Male Politicians Running Our Government Are a Bunch of Morally Corrupt Assholes