ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Jake Swearingen
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October 28, 2016The Adult Haunted House of Horrors
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May 22, 2013Captive Audience SEO
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January 30, 2013The #MostDangerousGame
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December 23, 2010My Tenure as Holiday Party Planner Was Long, Controversial, and Will Be Ultimately Vindicated by History
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October 19, 2006From The Grad Schoolyard: The Diarrhea Song
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March 8, 2001How Important Moments In My Life Would Have Been Different If I Was Shot Twice In The Stomach At Close Range
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September 11, 2024Maura Quint’s Presidential Debate Recaps: The One with the Tackle and the Bait
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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September 9, 2024A Math Exam, but Obviously Some Stuff Has Happened over the Summer in the Teacher’s Personal Life
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August 30, 2024New School Year Drop-Off and Pick-Up Rules
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September 13, 2024A First-Year Teacher Learns to Use Adhesives from Her Mentor
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September 13, 2024Our Political Parties Have Totally Realigned
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September 12, 2024Voters Deserve an Explanation of Harris’s Flip-Flops, but Not One for Whatever Psychotic Thing Trump Is Saying
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September 12, 2024J. D. Vance Imagines a Day in the Life of a Pet-Eating Immigrant