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Articles by
Jesse Eisenberg
Jesse Eisenberg is an actor and author of the plays The Spoils, The Revisionist, and Asuncion, as well as the short story collection, Bream Gives Me Hiccups:https://www.mcsweeneys.net/columns/bream-gives-me-hiccups-restaurant-reviews-from-a-privileged-nine-year-old, which began as a McSweeney’s column.
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January 3, 2019My Sister Pushes the Lobster
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May 18, 2018One Small Blow Against Encroaching Totalitarianism: The Natural Order of the World Depends On It
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January 25, 2017My Very Good Friend
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November 4, 2016
Self-Deprecating Heroes -
December 12, 2013Bream Gives Me Hiccups: Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old: The Ashram and Mom
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November 12, 2013Alexander Graham Bell’s First Five Phone Calls
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November 1, 2013Bream Gives Me Hiccups: Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old: The Museum of Natural History and Making Compromises
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October 2, 2013A Post Gender Normative Woman Tries to Pick Up a Man at a Bar
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August 6, 2013Bream Gives Me Hiccups: Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old: A Crawfish Boil and Dad’s New Family
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June 3, 2013Bream Gives Me Hiccups: Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old: Fuddruckers and an Unreliable New Friend
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February 22, 2013Bream Gives Me Hiccups: Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old: Matthew’s House
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December 11, 2012Body Rituals Among the Lauxesortem
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January 14, 2021I Am the Designer of This Restaurant’s Outdoor Seating Space, and This Is My Artist’s Statement
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January 13, 2021Excerpts from the Sex and the City Revival in Which Samantha Is Replaced with Fran Lebowitz
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January 20, 2021
Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1-1,056 -
January 20, 2021A Conservative’s Guide to Preparing for a Biden Presidency
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January 22, 2021Llama Llama Remote-Learning Drama
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January 22, 2021Eight Famous Poems Rewritten by Your Asshole Cat
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January 22, 2021Now That I Am Old Enough to Enroll in Medicare, I Am Against Socialized Medicine
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January 21, 2021I Am a Disappointed Biden Voter Who Was Told He’d Immediately Implement Communist Rule