Articles by
Jesse Eisenberg
Jesse Eisenberg is an actor and author of the plays The Spoils, The Revisionist, and Asuncion and the short story collection, Bream Gives Me Hiccups, which began as a McSweeney’s column.
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May 18, 2018One Small Blow Against Encroaching Totalitarianism: The Natural Order of the World Depends On It
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January 25, 2017My Very Good Friend
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November 4, 2016
Self-Deprecating Heroes -
December 12, 2013Bream Gives Me Hiccups: Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old: The Ashram and Mom
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November 12, 2013Alexander Graham Bell’s First Five Phone Calls
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November 1, 2013Bream Gives Me Hiccups: Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old: The Museum of Natural History and Making Compromises
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October 2, 2013A Post Gender Normative Woman Tries to Pick Up a Man at a Bar
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August 6, 2013Bream Gives Me Hiccups: Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old: A Crawfish Boil and Dad’s New Family
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June 3, 2013Bream Gives Me Hiccups: Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old: Fuddruckers and an Unreliable New Friend
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February 22, 2013Bream Gives Me Hiccups: Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old: Matthew’s House
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December 11, 2012Body Rituals Among the Lauxesortem
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November 21, 2012Bream Gives Me Hiccups: Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old: Thanksgiving With Vegans
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October 10, 2018My Common App Essay: “Every School Reading This Except Dartmouth Sucks Ass”
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October 20, 2009It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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October 8, 2018Matreon: The Patreon Platform for Emotional Labor
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October 12, 2018I Am Sick and Tired of Constantly Being Bullied for My Extreme Wealth and Political Power
Recently
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October 18, 2018Welcome to Breastfeeding Class, Surrender All Hope
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October 18, 2018List: Fresh Middle-Ground Alternatives Between NIMBY and YIMBY
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October 18, 2018Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: Atrocities 1 to 112
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October 18, 2018Fuck You, We’re Sight Words!