McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Articles by
Jesse Eisenberg
Jesse Eisenberg is an actor and author of the plays The Spoils, The Revisionist, and Asuncion, as well as the short story collection, Bream Gives Me Hiccups:https://www.mcsweeneys.net/columns/bream-gives-me-hiccups-restaurant-reviews-from-a-privileged-nine-year-old, which began as a McSweeney’s column.
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January 3, 2019My Sister Pushes the Lobster
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May 18, 2018One Small Blow Against Encroaching Totalitarianism: The Natural Order of the World Depends On It
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January 25, 2017My Very Good Friend
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November 4, 2016
Self-Deprecating Heroes -
December 12, 2013Bream Gives Me Hiccups: Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old: The Ashram and Mom
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November 12, 2013Alexander Graham Bell’s First Five Phone Calls
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November 1, 2013Bream Gives Me Hiccups: Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old: The Museum of Natural History and Making Compromises
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October 2, 2013A Post Gender Normative Woman Tries to Pick Up a Man at a Bar
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August 6, 2013Bream Gives Me Hiccups: Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old: A Crawfish Boil and Dad’s New Family
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June 3, 2013Bream Gives Me Hiccups: Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old: Fuddruckers and an Unreliable New Friend
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February 22, 2013Bream Gives Me Hiccups: Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old: Matthew’s House
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December 11, 2012Body Rituals Among the Lauxesortem
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January 2, 2019I Don’t Hate Women Candidates — I Just Hated Hillary and Coincidentally I’m Starting to Hate Elizabeth Warren
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December 29, 2018List: If People Talked to Other Professionals the Way They Talk to Teachers
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January 9, 2019I Used My Wife’s Vibrating Dildo to Achieve My First Prostate Orgasm and Now I’m In Narnia and I Can’t Get Back Home
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January 4, 2019I Watched the Video of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Dancing In College, and Now I Understand the Necessity of Free-Market Economics
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January 16, 2019Finally, A Razor For Men
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January 16, 2019Emily Post’s Etiquette for Pooping in a National Park
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January 16, 2019List: 6 Ways to Repress Bitter Feelings About Your Friend’s Mildly Successful Music Career
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January 16, 2019If the Future of the Democratic Party Means Winning Elections, Count Me Out