Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
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Articles by
Matthew Simmons
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July 19, 2007List: Two Things That Aren’t Covered by Your Friend With Benefits
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May 12, 2005List: Things Heard During John Cage’s Folsom Prison Performance of “4’33”."
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May 10, 2005List: Three Items at the Supermarket I See in a New Way, Now That I’ve Read Some Books on Literary Theory
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February 16, 2005List: Ways Jesus Saves
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September 13, 2004This Bible You Sold Me Is Clearly Defective and I’d Like to Return It, Please
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November 6, 2003List: Why Love Is Blind
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August 21, 2003List: Things I Would Say to Dorothy Parker If I Was Her Boyfriend that Would Lead to a Huge Fight
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July 11, 2018Abortion is Immoral, Except When It Comes to My Mistresses
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May 8, 2019Hello, I’ll Be Your Toddler Tour Guide for This Trip Out the Front Door
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May 20, 2019I Don’t Think a Woman is Electable In 2020 Because Last Time Around the Female Nominee Only Got Three Million More Votes Than Her Opponent
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May 13, 2019Yeah Sex Is Cool, But Have You Tried Being a Woman In Your 30s?
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May 23, 2019
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May 23, 2019The Thing I Need Most In My Life Right Now Is a Purpose-Driven Paper Towel Brand
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May 23, 2019Dispatches From a Guy Trying Unsuccessfully to Sell a Song in Nashville: Dispatch 49: Wrecking My Car, Part I
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May 22, 2019“Old Town The Road” By Lil Nas X, Featuring Cormac McCarthy