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Articles by

Matthew Simmons

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July 19, 2007

List: Two Things That Aren’t Covered by Your Friend With Benefits

MATTHEW SIMMONS
May 12, 2005

List: Things Heard During John Cage’s Folsom Prison Performance of “4’33”."

AARON BURCH, CHRISTOPHER MONKS, ELIZABETH ELLEN, JENSEN WHELAN, JIM RULAND, MATTHEW SIMMONS, MELISSA BELL, PASHA MALLA and STEVEN SEIGHMAN
May 10, 2005

List: Three Items at the Supermarket I See in a New Way, Now That I’ve Read Some Books on Literary Theory

MATTHEW SIMMONS
February 16, 2005

List: Ways Jesus Saves

AARON BURCH, CHRISTOPHER MONKS, ELIZABETH ELLEN, JENSEN WHELAN, LAURA CARNEY, MATTHEW SIMMONS, MELISSA BELL, PASHA MALLA and STEVEN SEIGHMAN
September 13, 2004

This Bible You Sold Me Is Clearly Defective and I’d Like to Return It, Please

MATTHEW SIMMONS
November 6, 2003

List: Why Love Is Blind

MATTHEW SIMMONS
August 21, 2003

List: Things I Would Say to Dorothy Parker If I Was Her Boyfriend that Would Lead to a Huge Fight

MATTHEW SIMMONS

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April 18, 2018

The First Female President

CARA MICHELLE SMITH
April 19, 2018

A Poem About Your University’s Absolute and Unwavering Appreciation of Its Faculty in Spite of Said Faculty’s Crap Salaries

SUSAN HARLAN
April 20, 2018

Welcome to MidWestworld

MIKE LACHER
April 19, 2018

The Diary of a Settler of Catan

JEREMIAH BUDIN

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April 23, 2018

College Course Registration: Pick These ‘Cause We Need the Money

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List: What Your Sad Desk Lunch Says About You

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April 23, 2018

An Open Letter to People Who Don’t Make Every Conceivable Effort to Ensure that the Bathroom Door is Locked

ANDREW FORRESTER
April 23, 2018

Amongst the Liberal Elite: Earth Day Amongst the Liberal Elite

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