Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Articles by
Matthew Simmons
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July 19, 2007List: Two Things That Aren’t Covered by Your Friend With Benefits
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May 12, 2005List: Things Heard During John Cage’s Folsom Prison Performance of “4’33”."
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May 10, 2005List: Three Items at the Supermarket I See in a New Way, Now That I’ve Read Some Books on Literary Theory
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February 16, 2005List: Ways Jesus Saves
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September 13, 2004This Bible You Sold Me Is Clearly Defective and I’d Like to Return It, Please
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November 6, 2003List: Why Love Is Blind
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August 21, 2003List: Things I Would Say to Dorothy Parker If I Was Her Boyfriend that Would Lead to a Huge Fight
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March 18, 2019A Statement from the University of Pennsylvania Regarding the College Admissions Bribery Scandal
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March 5, 2019I Support Strong Women of Color Unless They Are Politically to My Left
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March 13, 2019In My Day, All It Took to Get into Yale Was Gumption, Hard Work, and Being a Direct Male-Line Descendent of William Howard Taft
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April 11, 2017Anything Men Can Do I Can Do Bleeding