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Articles by
Matthew Simmons
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July 19, 2007Two Things That Aren’t Covered by Your Friend With Benefits
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May 12, 2005Things Heard During John Cage’s Folsom Prison Performance of “4’33”."
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May 10, 2005Three Items at the Supermarket I See in a New Way, Now That I’ve Read Some Books on Literary Theory
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February 16, 2005Ways Jesus Saves
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September 13, 2004This Bible You Sold Me Is Clearly Defective and I’d Like to Return It, Please
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November 6, 2003Why Love Is Blind
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August 21, 2003Things I Would Say to Dorothy Parker If I Was Her Boyfriend that Would Lead to a Huge Fight
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April 13, 2021An FAQ About Your New Birth Control: The Music of Rush
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April 9, 2021The Five Stages of Grief When Dealing With No Longer Being Able to See the “Scoop, There It Is” Geico Commercial
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April 16, 2021As a Republican, I Believe White Men Are Boys, Boys of Color Are Men, and Underage Girls Are Consenting Adults
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April 9, 2021An Open Letter to My Children Regarding the Commencement of Asynchronous Parenting
