The Believer Magazine
Articles by
Sam Woods
Sam Woods is a writer, actor, and peanut butter cup enthusiast living in Los Angeles. Check out more of his work with his writing partner, Jenny Wise, at wiseandwoods.com.
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November 4, 2024Election Day 2024 Bingo
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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October 2, 2024JD Vance, a Very Normal Human Man, Sells Used Cars
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May 3, 2024I’m the Architect of the Death Star, and I Swear They Told Me I Was Designing a Military Resort
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July 21, 2023Ernest Hemingway’s “Hills Like White Oliphaunts”
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June 16, 2022James Joyce Writes Ad Copy for Big Brands
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June 10, 2022We, the Herbivores of Jurassic Park, Have Unionized. Here Are Our Demands
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May 5, 2022I Am Your Marxist Hamster, and You, Land-Owning Pig, Are the Bourgeoisie
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August 20, 2021H.P. Lovecraft Writes Olive Garden’s Dinner Menu
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July 21, 2021Ernest Hemingway’s “The Killers,” Featuring The Killers
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June 16, 2021James Joyce’s The Hobbit
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May 4, 2021Scenes Deleted from Star Wars Because the Stormtroopers Came Off As Too Relatable
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December 3, 2024A Faculty Member’s Self-Evaluation at the End of the Semester
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November 13, 2024Sure, I Voted for Someone Whose Policies Might Kill You, but Now’s the Time to Put Aside Our Differences
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November 18, 2024I Am a Passionate Mid-Level University Administrator, and I’m Gonna Administrate the Shit Out of This Place
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November 25, 2024How to Give Thanks by Cooking Food No One Knows How to Cook and Eating Food No One Likes to Eat