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Articles by
Tom Batten
Tom Batten has written for The New Yorker, The Guardian, and others. He lives in Virginia.
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June 8, 2018The World Responds to Me Winning HQ Trivia
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February 26, 2018What I Imagine an Average Day Would Be Like If I Lived in New York
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October 24, 2017I’m Looking for a Woman Who Will Challenge Me
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October 25, 2016About the Sinkhole in the Adjunct Faculty Lounge, and Other Mid-Semester Announcements
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September 8, 2006Three New Mac Ad Ideas
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January 14, 2021I Am the Designer of This Restaurant’s Outdoor Seating Space, and This Is My Artist’s Statement
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January 13, 2021Excerpts from the Sex and the City Revival in Which Samantha Is Replaced with Fran Lebowitz
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January 20, 2021
Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1-1,056 -
January 20, 2021A Conservative’s Guide to Preparing for a Biden Presidency
Recently
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January 22, 2021Llama Llama Remote-Learning Drama
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January 22, 2021Eight Famous Poems Rewritten by Your Asshole Cat
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January 22, 2021Now That I Am Old Enough to Enroll in Medicare, I Am Against Socialized Medicine
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January 21, 2021I Am a Disappointed Biden Voter Who Was Told He’d Immediately Implement Communist Rule