Articles by
Zain Khalid
Zain Khalid is a writer whose work can be found here, The New Yorker, and elsewhere. He is currently writing a novel with too many working titles.
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August 4, 2017Let’s Dismantle the Utopian Community We Founded Immediately After the Election
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June 5, 2017How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Fidget Spinner
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April 25, 2017Introducing FitBigot!
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February 10, 2017The Islamic State’s Thank You Letter to the Infidel King, Donald Trump
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June 30, 2016List: Millennial Constitutional Amendments
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April 6, 2016I Stopped Reading Your Screenplay to Save Our Marriage
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January 27, 2016Monologue: The Universally Electable Vice-Presidential Candidate
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December 29, 2015The Four Horsemen of Gentrification
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September 29, 2015Monologue: On Fleek’s Eulogy for Ratchet
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August 4, 2015Why I’m Leaving ISIS for a Career in Improv Comedy
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August 8, 2018The Very Model of a Modern-Age Millennial
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November 12, 2015Maybe I Should Stop Bringing Up My Cat So Much When People Tell Me Stories About Their Kids
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August 15, 2018List: Table of Contents From Sorry, You’re Kind of Fucked: The Only Child’s Survival Guide
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August 14, 2018List: Other Transportation Metaphors Besides “Helicopter Parent”
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August 20, 2018How to Talk About Your Screenplay in Any Social Situation
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August 20, 2018List: What Your Favorite 2000s Emo Pop Band Says About You
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August 20, 2018Confronting Your Office’s Vending Machine Over Changes In Its Menu
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August 20, 2018One Small Blow Against Encroaching Totalitarianism: Why I’ll Keep Protesting