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Articles by
Zain Khalid
Zain Khalid is a writer whose work can be found here, The New Yorker, and elsewhere. He is currently writing a novel with too many working titles.
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August 4, 2017Let’s Dismantle the Utopian Community We Founded Immediately After the Election
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June 5, 2017How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Fidget Spinner
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April 25, 2017Introducing FitBigot!
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February 10, 2017The Islamic State’s Thank You Letter to the Infidel King, Donald Trump
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June 30, 2016Millennial Constitutional Amendments
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April 6, 2016I Stopped Reading Your Screenplay to Save Our Marriage
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January 27, 2016The Universally Electable Vice-Presidential Candidate
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November 3, 2015The Four Horsemen of Gentrification
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September 29, 2015On Fleek’s Eulogy for Ratchet
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August 4, 2015Why I’m Leaving ISIS for a Career in Improv Comedy
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August 2, 2021The Dean of Students Clarifies the University’s COVID Guidelines for the Upcoming Semester
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August 2, 2021We Apologize for Claiming Critical Race Theory Will Make Your Children Sacrifice Their Classmates to Satan
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July 30, 2021A Retelling of Snow White in Which It’s Clear That the Mirror Meant “Fair” as in “Very Pale”
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July 30, 2021As an Indigenous Person, Here Are Some Land Acknowledgments I Hope Never Happen