Articles by
Zain Khalid
Zain Khalid is a writer whose work can be found here, The New Yorker, and elsewhere. He is currently writing a novel with too many working titles.
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August 4, 2017Let’s Dismantle the Utopian Community We Founded Immediately After the Election
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June 5, 2017How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Fidget Spinner
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April 25, 2017Introducing FitBigot!
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February 10, 2017The Islamic State’s Thank You Letter to the Infidel King, Donald Trump
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June 30, 2016List: Millennial Constitutional Amendments
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April 6, 2016I Stopped Reading Your Screenplay to Save Our Marriage
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January 27, 2016Monologue: The Universally Electable Vice-Presidential Candidate
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December 29, 2015The Four Horsemen of Gentrification
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September 29, 2015Monologue: On Fleek’s Eulogy for Ratchet
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August 4, 2015Why I’m Leaving ISIS for a Career in Improv Comedy
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April 20, 2018List: Interim Goals for the Feminist Movement
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April 20, 2018After Hours of Tough Negotiations With Legal Scholar Rudy Giuliani, I’ve Decided to End My Special Counsel Investigation Into the Trump Campaign
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April 20, 2018Stopping by Mar-a-Lago on a Friday Evening
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April 19, 2018A Poem About Your University’s Absolute and Unwavering Appreciation of Its Faculty in Spite of Said Faculty’s Crap Salaries