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Articles by
Zain Khalid
Zain Khalid is a writer whose work can be found here, The New Yorker, and elsewhere. He is currently writing a novel with too many working titles.
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August 4, 2017Let’s Dismantle the Utopian Community We Founded Immediately After the Election
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June 5, 2017How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Fidget Spinner
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April 25, 2017Introducing FitBigot!
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February 10, 2017The Islamic State’s Thank You Letter to the Infidel King, Donald Trump
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June 30, 2016Millennial Constitutional Amendments
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April 6, 2016I Stopped Reading Your Screenplay to Save Our Marriage
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January 27, 2016The Universally Electable Vice-Presidential Candidate
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November 3, 2015The Four Horsemen of Gentrification
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September 29, 2015On Fleek’s Eulogy for Ratchet
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August 4, 2015Why I’m Leaving ISIS for a Career in Improv Comedy
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October 8, 2021A Typical Friday in Oregon, as Imagined by My East Coast Friends
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September 2, 2021Oh My Fucking God, Get the Fucking Vaccine Already, You Fucking Fucks
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September 30, 2021This Is Your Kid’s School and Even Though the Emergency Contact Form Lists Your Husband, We Need You, the Mom
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September 22, 2021It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
Recently
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October 21, 2021An Interview with Farah Ali About Her New Book, People Want to Live
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October 21, 2021Due to Current Travel Mandates We’ve Decided to Make COVID-19 Testing at Our Airport a Complete Nightmare
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October 20, 2021It Would Be Un-American to Support Legislation That Doesn’t Directly Benefit Me
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October 20, 2021Your Essay Shows Promise But Suffers from Demonic Possession