Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
Articles by
Zain Khalid
Zain Khalid is a writer whose work can be found here, The New Yorker, and elsewhere. He is currently writing a novel with too many working titles.
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August 4, 2017Let’s Dismantle the Utopian Community We Founded Immediately After the Election
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June 5, 2017How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Fidget Spinner
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April 25, 2017Introducing FitBigot!
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February 10, 2017The Islamic State’s Thank You Letter to the Infidel King, Donald Trump
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June 30, 2016List: Millennial Constitutional Amendments
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April 6, 2016I Stopped Reading Your Screenplay to Save Our Marriage
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January 27, 2016Monologue: The Universally Electable Vice-Presidential Candidate
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November 3, 2015The Four Horsemen of Gentrification
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September 29, 2015Monologue: On Fleek’s Eulogy for Ratchet
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August 4, 2015Why I’m Leaving ISIS for a Career in Improv Comedy
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March 18, 2019A Statement from the University of Pennsylvania Regarding the College Admissions Bribery Scandal
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March 13, 2019In My Day, All It Took to Get into Yale Was Gumption, Hard Work, and Being a Direct Male-Line Descendent of William Howard Taft
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March 18, 2019March Sadness
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March 19, 2019List: Impossible reCAPTCHAs
Recently
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March 26, 2019Obituaries for the Recently Canceled
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March 26, 2019List: Awful HGTV House Hunters or One of the 2.6 Million People Living in Refugee Camps?
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March 26, 2019On Obtaining Free Food at a Nonprofit Company
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March 25, 2019Every Test Result On Your Medical Report Indicates Cancer So I Feel Confident In Summarizing Your Diagnosis as “No Cancer”