Daily humor
almost every day
since 1998.
almost every day
since 1998.
McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free. Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today.
Articles by
Zain Khalid
Zain Khalid is a writer whose work can be found here, The New Yorker, and elsewhere. He is currently writing a novel with too many working titles.
-
August 4, 2017Let’s Dismantle the Utopian Community We Founded Immediately After the Election
-
June 5, 2017How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Fidget Spinner
-
April 25, 2017Introducing FitBigot!
-
February 10, 2017The Islamic State’s Thank You Letter to the Infidel King, Donald Trump
-
June 30, 2016List: Millennial Constitutional Amendments
-
April 6, 2016I Stopped Reading Your Screenplay to Save Our Marriage
-
January 27, 2016Monologue: The Universally Electable Vice-Presidential Candidate
-
November 3, 2015The Four Horsemen of Gentrification
-
September 29, 2015Monologue: On Fleek’s Eulogy for Ratchet
-
August 4, 2015Why I’m Leaving ISIS for a Career in Improv Comedy
Trending 🔥
-
August 12, 2019List: Critically Acclaimed Horror Film of the 2010s or Your Ph.D. Program?
-
August 9, 2019We Need a Wizard Who Can Appeal to the Moderate Orc Voter
-
August 25, 2016I Would Rather Do Anything Else Than Write the Syllabus for Your Class
-
August 5, 2019God Has Heard Your Thoughts and Prayers and He Thinks They Are Fucking Bullshit
Recently
-
August 23, 2019We Need a Republican Nominee Whose Disdain for Marginalized People is Less Obvious
-
August 23, 2019List: A Parents’ Guide to Surviving the College Drop-Off
-
August 23, 2019Monologue: I Am Marianne Williamson and, to Clarify, the ‘Dark Psychic Force’ I Mentioned Is the Algerian Military and Its Refusal to Cede Power to the Hirak
-
August 23, 2019List: Things Trump Can Do to Win Democrats’ Votes