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All posts tagged
autumn
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October 25, 2023I Love When the Leaves Turn Beautiful Colors and Fall to Their Deaths
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October 24, 2023For Your Crimes, You Have Been Sentenced to Unpaid Labor at a Pumpkin Patch
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September 25, 2023What I’ll Do with the One Week I Can Wear My Sensible Fall Jacket
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September 22, 2023It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 23, 2022On the Eighth Day, Leon Leonwood Bean Said, “Let There Be Flannel Shirts”
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August 30, 2022I’ll Drink this Pumpkin Spice Latte Before Labor Day, But Only Because Demons Are Making Me
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November 24, 2020How to Make a Cornucopia, Because It’s Come to This
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October 15, 2020Proper Leaf-Peeping Protocol for 2020
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October 9, 2019Pumpkin Spice: Now For Men
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August 30, 2019An Open Letter to People Who Say “Summer’s Not Over Yet!”
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July 15, 2024I Can’t Believe Such a Hateful, Violent Act Could Happen in the Hateful, Violent Era I’ve Created
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July 12, 2024Schedule of Speakers for the 2024 Republican National Convention
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July 16, 2024Hillbilly Elegy Edited for J. D. Vance’s Vice Presidential Campaign
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May 10, 2024What Your Favorite ’90s Band Says About the Kind of Bored Suburban Mom You Are Today
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July 26, 2024I’m a Childless Cat Lady, and If Trump and Vance Win I’m Going to Start a Sexual Relationship with My Couch
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July 26, 2024Skills You Need as President of the United States or Skills You Need as a Stepmom?
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July 26, 2024If They’d Told Me We Were Poor, I Wouldn’t Have Tolerated the Cynics
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July 26, 2024We Went Ahead and Made an AI Olympian