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All posts tagged
cdc
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April 20, 2022There’s No Need to Wear a Mask On This Flight—We’re Not Scared! Now Take Off Your Shoes in Case There’s a Bomb in Your Socks
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February 1, 2022The CDC’s COVID-19 Guidelines for Moms Who Are Just So Tired of This Shit
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January 10, 2022Questions for the CDC in Light of the Omicron Variant from Concerned Parents, for the Love of Christ
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April 30, 2021CDC’s Guidelines for When It’s Safe to Still Wear Lounge Pants
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December 17, 2020A Warning from the CDC for All Hallmark Movie Protagonists Returning to Their Hometowns This Christmas
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March 27, 2020An Open Letter to Dr. Anthony Fauci Asking for Passover Seder Advice
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March 6, 2020“A Solid Flu Vaccine”: A Scientist Looks Back On the Day Trump Came Up With a Cure For the Coronavirus
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February 27, 2020The CDC’s Revised Facial Hairstyles and Filtering Facepiece Respirators Chart
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February 14, 2017The CDC Has Issued a Quarantine Order for All the Lovey-Dovey Crap You See On Valentine’s Day
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January 24, 2017Deregulated CDC Handwashing Guidelines
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May 13, 2022Ten Possibilities the Applebee’s Waitress Considers Before It Occurs to Her the Women in Booth Fourteen Might Be a Couple with Two Children
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May 18, 2022A Passenger’s One-Star Review of the Trolley Ride from the Trolley Problem
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May 13, 2022A Modest Proposal for Solving the Baby Formula Shortage
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November 13, 2018If People Talked to Other Professionals the Way They Talk to Teachers
Recently
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May 26, 2022Yes, You Caught Me. I’m Trans Because It’s the Trendy New Thing to Legislate Against
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May 26, 2022We Would Love to Consider You For This Job We Have Already Filled
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May 26, 2022We Bled All Winter—Part I
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May 26, 2022Oh, You Think You’re a Real Star Wars Fan? Name Three of Its Stars You’ve Bullied Off Social Media