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All posts tagged
college-admissions
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April 9, 2024You Can Try Sample Questions from the New SATs or You Can Hit Yourself Over the Head Repeatedly with This Plumber’s Wrench
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December 21, 2021Common App Essays by Shakespeare Characters
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July 12, 2021Allison, This Is Your Future College, and We’re Here to Ruin Your Life
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December 2, 2020“Home Away from Home Alone”: A College Admissions Essay by Kevin McCallister
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June 23, 2020In Retrospect, Wait-Listing You Was a Huge Mistake
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December 16, 2019I Am Lady Macbeth, and Your Facebook Post About Your Kid’s Early Acceptance to Harvard Really Pisses Me Off
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August 27, 2019This Is Your Last Fucking Chance to Show Interest In Attending Our University
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March 18, 2019A Statement from the University of Pennsylvania Regarding the College Admissions Bribery Scandal
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March 13, 2019In My Day, All It Took to Get into Yale Was Gumption, Hard Work, and Being a Direct Male-Line Descendent of William Howard Taft
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October 5, 2018We Are Building the Most Inclusive, Exclusive Colleges in America!
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April 30, 2025Our University Is Replacing DEI with Vibes and Vaguely Diverse Stock Photos
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April 30, 2025This Bank Robbery Is a Safe Space
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April 29, 2025Don’t Worry, We Were Prepared for Our Policies to Be Extremely Unpopular, Because They Are Very, Very Bad
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April 29, 2025We’re the Pro-Family Party; We’re Also Deporting Families