The early bird gets the worm, like Chris in international sales, who gets to the office a couple minutes before nine every morning, so it looks like he’s this real go-getter to David, but he always leaves at five on the dot, whereas I have delayed sleep-phase disorder and have greater sleep requirements than the average person, so I have trouble making it in by 9:15, but I’m constantly staying till seven or eight, yet I’m discriminated against even though I’m working much more overall than Chris, and if we just had a work structure in place to accommodate people like me, then the late bird would get the worm and the brown-nosing early bird would be the one getting talked to by David on a monthly basis.
Teddy Wayne’s
Unpopular Proverbs
- - - -
Teddy Wayne is the author of the novels Kapitoil and the forthcoming The Love Song of Jonny Valentine.
See all articles from this column
- - - -
Punctuality.
BY Teddy Wayne
- - - -
See all articles from this column
SUGGESTED READS
How to Make Your Own Proverbsby Russell Bradbury-Carlin (1/8/2004)
List: Rethinking Horse Proverbs
by Joseph O'Brien (5/3/2004)
Obscure Chinese Proverbs
by Dennis Mahoney (11/9/2004)
RECENTLY
Bream Gives Me Hiccups: Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old: Sushi Nozawaby Jesse Eisenberg (5/24/2012)
The Long Walk: A Column About Washington: The Undead Past
by Alec Bings (5/24/2012)
List: Increasingly Threatening Taglines for Beauty Products
by Kendra Eash (5/24/2012)
POPULAR
Monologue: I’m Comic Sans, Asshole.by Mike Lacher (6/15/2010)
Open Letters: An Open Letter to People Who Judge My Single, Post-College Lifestyle
by Cleo Plagg (3/2/2012)
Airplane Passengers as Explained By Their Pants
by Wendi Aarons (5/4/2012)
