RAMI: One out of every two couples fights weekly. Divorce rates are at an all time high. How do we get out of this “Love Drought?”

METTE: The Patriarchy thrives on statistics. How else do you know if you’re a minority?

RAMI: I want to tell you a story from my childhood. I used to play with my sister’s Barbie. I would give her haircuts and say my name was Juanito.

METTE: Appealing as an ally through allegory is the most obvious symptom of Fair Weather Activism.

RAMI: Conversations go only one of two ways: Collaborative to a productive end or Interrogative to a “Right” answer.

METTE: Who decides if an answer is right? And if you don’t believe it’s right then why call it a “Right Answer?”

RAMI: My extensive research has proven that the health benefits of quote “Healthy Fighting” include what I’ve coined as Cathartic Orgasm. This might be the cure to the Love Drought that I previously mentioned.

METTE: Una Troubridge wrote that the male orgasm is a temporary solution to a perennial problem.

RAMI: In my book, “Living In A Dead Poet’s Society: The Inferior Usage of Quotation in Conversation…”

METTE: Just take out the fucking trash, Rami.