For the 7th consecutive year, it’s column contest time. Please read the following guidelines and then go get writing!

1. Form and content are open. We are looking for material that is engaging and interesting, in a “we know it when we see it” way. It would probably be a mistake to look at our current columns and try to replicate them. We love those columns, but they came about by authors simply following their own paths. Engage the subject matter you’re interested in, in the way you find most compelling. Our site is primarily known for printing funny things, but columns need not be comic in nature. They don’t even need to be writing, as we have begun to feature more graphic-based material.

2. Everyone is invited. Citizens of all countries are encouraged to submit, provided the submissions are written in English. Columns may also have multiple authors, provided they are willing to split the prize money.

3. You may publish under a pseudonym. If your column warrants, we are comfortable with you publishing under a pseudonym, though the McSweeney’s editorial staff must know (and will keep confidential) your real identity.

4. Level of polish and professionalism counts… a lot. Please take your time to make your submission as good as possible. We’re looking for writers who are reliable and obsessive over their own work. We also want to see that there is a well-defined vision that will carry over from the first installment to the last.

5. Length is also open. In general, we find anything over 2000-2500 words begins to be taxing on readers when read on the Internet, but if the length is justified, we’re the last ones to complain.

6. Submissions should contain the following:

  • A brief description of the overall vision for the proposed column (keep it short; just tell us where you’re coming from)
  • One full example column
  • Brief descriptions of three additional installments of your column
  • A short biographical note

7. Submitting your submissions. All submissions should be both pasted into the body of an email and sent as a .doc or .rtf attachment. Please arrange the material in the order outlined in #6 above. Any submissions that fail to provide all the requested information will be ineligible for consideration. All material should be previously unpublished, including personal blogs, Facebook, Twitter, or whatever thing is invented between now and the end of the contest. There is no fee for contest submission. Submissions should be sent to

8. Previous winners and current or past columnists. Are not eligible for the column contest this time around. Friends and close acquaintances of the contest judges (Chris Monks and John Warner) are also not eligible for consideration.

9. Please submit only one entry per author. Pick the idea that’s most compelling to you and run with it.

10. Deadline. Submissions will be accepted until Friday, September 18, 2015 at 10 pm Eastern time. Winners will be announced no later than September 25, 2015. Please include a phone number where you can be reached in case of email failure.

11. Prizes. We have prizes. Cash prizes. The top five selections will each receive $500 and write for one year (twice a month or thereabouts) on McSweeney’s Internet Tendency. We do reserve the right to choose fewer (or more) winners than our planned number of five.

12. Responses to submissions. You will receive notice of receipt of your entry. However, because of the volume of submissions, we will not be able to respond personally to each entry if they are not advancing in the contest.

13. Rights. Authors retain all rights to both their submissions and the winning entries. We simply ask for permission to display your work on the website.

14. If you have any questions that aren’t answered here, please feel free to send them to