Hey friend, sorry to hear that times have been tough. Anxiety? I’ve been there. Just yesterday, I had a job interview and I was really anxious. Plus I’m very OCD about certain things. Not pathologically or anything, but I like to clean my dishes after I use them.

Don’t buy into all that medicine and psychology crap. I know they tell you that there are legitimate ways to get over and manage this stuff, but they just overcomplicate things. It’s quite simple. Let me tell you how I got over it: I stopped.

Have you ever tried that? Just stop. Like, don’t be anxious. See? It’s a lot better than being anxious. A lot of the people I admire most are not anxious. Don’t you want to be like them? They have it all figured out. They just don’t worry. So that’s what you should do too. Just don’t do it. If you can’t… well, just do it. Stop being a wuss. No offense, haha. I mean, especially that agoraphobia stuff, you gotta cut that out.

And I’ve been meaning to talk to you about your problems maintaining focus, emotional volatility, and sensitivity to rejection. You know “ADHD” is made up, right? It’s just boys being boys. And adults and girls. Basically, it’s just people with an abnormally thin cortex in their attentional regions being people with an abnormally thin cortex in their attentional regions. But look, again, I get it. I had trouble getting through Crime and Punishment. But here’s what you have to do. You know that norepinephrine deficiency you have? Try not having it instead. It’s way better that way. You also need to care less about what other people think, and I’d recommend starting by getting your dopaminergic systems in order, amigo. Grow some skin. Or grow some extra cortex. Why would you even want to have that problem?

Now your mind-shattering and agonizing chronic depression might be easiest to deal with. Whenever I’m feeling blue, I just do something that makes me no longer feel that way. Have you ever tried that? I also have a perfectly functioning limbic system, and would recommend that as well. I don’t have a psychological disorder and therefore am qualified to give you advice about your problems.

I know it all seems like legitimate medical issues, but it’s not brain science. All this stuff is just in your head. Take it from me, it’s much better when you just don’t have any of these problems. So just stop.