Congratulations in order for you! Purchase of HyunCO JinjjaHim WIFIx09182 home wi-fi kit, a fine decision! Moments away: true power, fast wireless; for reasons of fun and business! — Jim Hyun, CEO, HyunCO LLC
HyunCO JinjjaHim WIFIx09182
INSTRUCTIONS FOR ASSEMBLY
TOOLS FOR ASSEMBLY
- Philips-head screwdriver
- G Clamp x2
- Lead-lined Level-B Hazmat (optional)
BEFORE YOU BEGIN
Wipe all red discharge from packaging before assembly. This is transdimensional re-entry glaze and nothing to be alarmed about. Find a place for your new HyunCO JinjjaHim WIFIx09182, ideally a wide-open space, such as a garage or empty swimming pool. Use ONLY premium-unleaded gasoline when fueling, DO NOT use regular.
1. Attach PROBE RIP (A-2) to CORE SLEEVE (G-1) using G Claps and provided VALVE PASTE. Secure base to a concrete surface.
2. Insert carbon-based matter blend into CONSECRATION BOWL (fig. 2) and prime your router by turning the ETERNITY CRANK (fig. 3) and repeating the HYMN OF G’ULROTH until all dogs in the neighborhood begin howling.
3. Grip visible PULL CORD with both hands and heave for ignition. 2-5 vigorous yanks should start machine. DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY AT BLUE ROUTER LIGHT ONCE ILLUMINATED.
4. Your notebook or tablet should automatically connect to your new router. The low rumbling heard is the sudden shift of the earth’s tectonic plates, normal upon initial boot.
HYUN-CO QUICK TIP: Connecting directly to the HyunCO JinjjaHim WIFIx09182 wirelessly with your smart phone may result in screen shatter.
5. From the WIRELESS SETTINGS menu, follow the on-screen instructions to continue setup. Accept the TERMS AND CONDITIONS. You’ve come this far; giving up now would be COWARDICE.
6. Complete setup by performing a NETWORK CONNECTION TEST. The more your voice reverberates as if speaking directly into a fan, the more secure a connection.
Q: I can’t seem to click on links fast enough. What gives?
A: Our WiFi is so fast, the reflexes of an average human are inadequate.
Q: My iTunes now contains a Huey Lewis and the News album I never purchased.
A: You will purchase the album within the next few weeks. Space-Time is relative, but your purchase, not unlike mankind’s path and inevitable destruction, has been set by the Ancients and cannot be avoided.
Q: Suddenly I have pirated copies of the next four Game Of Thrones seasons and seem to be receiving email responses to messages I have yet to send. How is this possible?
A: See above.
HYUNCO QUICK TIP: In highest security mode, the user is required to personally sign in for packets.
Q: Why does an error message appear when I attempt to run third-party security software?
A: The HyunCO JinjjaHim WIFIx09182 default firewall is powered by the old disgraced wizard Elore. Third-party security is incompatible save for plugins unsusceptible to paleblood magicks.
Q: Since beginning regular use of the HyunCO JinjjaHim WIFIx09182, why have my neighbors complained of trouble with their own wireless routers?
A: The HyunCO JinjjaHim WIFIx09182 is most likely infecting the packets and transmissions of other routers and recruiting them to its own cause. Together, they are Legion, and no one likes a snitch.
Q: I’ve received an email either confirming or denying my family passage on the Operation NU EARTH shuttle, the SS H.O.P.E. FOR HUMANITY. What is this?
A: Your friends at HyunCO would like to extend hearty “Congratulations” or remorseful “May God have mercy on you and your loved ones,” depending on your message’s contents.