Kids are only allowed to play outside if they are wearing at least one white piece of clothing. If they are on a sports team, then everything they wear must be white.

Kids do not play outside unless it’s been raining for a week and the field is more of a swamp than a field.

If you like to wear light clothes, you’re required by law to eat only tomato sauce.

If you have already spilled ketchup on your shirt, you should go ahead and rub some mustard on it too, so the washing doesn’t go to waste.

Men are allergic to doing the laundry.

If you complain to your girlfriend/mother/female neighbor (see above about men’s allergies) about being defeated by stains, no matter where the conversation is taking place, her laundry detergent will always be within an arm’s reach.

After doing the laundry, it is customary to place stacks of freakishly neatly folded clothes around the house and beam at them for long stretches of time.

If there is a clothesline in someone’s yard, a minimum of eight white sheets, all of them the same size, are hanging on it at any given time.

Smelling your freshly laundered clothes causes blue flowers to blossom around your head.