For generations, creators of all stripes have searched for a location where they can be fully immersed in their creative process: a place known as Flow State. If you’re planning a visit, here’s what you need to know:
Why do people want to visit Flow State?
Flow State feels like being on a warm beach while conducting an orchestra and snuggling up with your dog on a rainy day — all at once. Flow State is sublime, like laughing with your best friends, or falling in love, or doing your freelance taxes correctly on the first try.
Wow! How do I get to Flow State?
To reach Flow State, you must forget your quest completely: try to get there and you’ll merely encircle your destination in a never-ending creative traffic jam. To prepare for the journey, empty yourself of distractions and focus on the present. Make sure to pee.
Sorry… literally how do I get there?
Take Elusive Street to the intersection of Challenge and Skill Avenues. Hook a left at Time and Self Boulevard (it’s easy to get lost there). You’ll see Self-Criticism Circle to your right. Avoid it. Keep going past External Distractions Drive for anywhere from five minutes to seven hours, and you will slip daintily through the border into Flow State.
Also, shrooms. Many people get here on shrooms.
Why do people visit Flow State?
To create. To learn. To experience the happiness projected by Instagram influencers. To finish that Derry Girls spec script.
Do I need a visa?
You are your own visa for Flow State!
OK… cool. What’s the weather like?
It’s a perfect 75 degrees with a light breeze, unless that is not your ideal weather, in which case it’s light-sweater weather or apres-ski weather or an allergy-less spring day where you’re taking a perfect stroll in comfortable yet stylish shoes along a well-maintained cobblestone street and absolutely no one in your vicinity is vaping.
Is anything not allowed in Flow State?
Social media, calendars, watches, bosses, and people to whom you owe emails. Also: reading for pleasure, leisure, personal culpability, and any and all hygiene.
How many people live there?
No one truly lives here, except for some Buddhist monks and David Simon when he was writing seasons 1-4 of The Wire (Flow State bears no claim to season 5).
Is anyone banned from Flow State?
When is the best time to plan a trip?
Anytime! Everyone wants to visit, yet it is never crowded. Even at peak season, you’ll find our wilderness blissfully unpopulated. (Unless you got here working on a group project and everyone reached optimal focus and lack of self-consciousness simultaneously. But this has only happened on three occasions: one improv team in the form’s 70-year history, ice cream makers Ben and Jerry when they created the flavor “Chunky Monkey,” and the entire writers room for the 1990 musical television series, Cop Rock.)
What great works of art have been created in Flow State?
So many! Some of the best include Michaelangelo’s Pieta, Labradoodles, and Poison’s “Nothin’ but a Good Time.”
Can you get kicked out of Flow State?
Anyone who consciously realizes they’re in Flow State, or muses aloud, “Wow, I’m in Flow State!” is immediately booted out.
What’s transportation like?
Everything in Flow State is placed exactly 4.3 miles from the next thing, the ideal walking distance for creativity and to commune with nature/Flow State-approved animals (loyal dogs, wise owls, Roombas).
Wait, so are there… cars there?
You may drive, but doing so will immediately take you to Suburban Hell State (which borders the full 360-degree perimeter of Flow State).
Is there internet access in Flow State?
We offer state of the art 1,000 mbps fiber internet for streaming lossless HD video and audio. However, accessing it immediately removes you from Flow State.
What clothes will I need?
Only the softest, most ethically-created fabrics should grace your skin in Flow State. We recommend shoes of light leather with fleece inserts. Yes, we do have an affiliate partnership with Patagonia.
I have to ask… is Flow State safe?
Only if you consider journeying to the deepest parts of your mind and the absolute outside reaches of your human potential “safe.”
It’s my dream to visit Flow State, but it sometimes sounds like a place reserved for the privileged. Can anyone but white men, the wealthy, and people without caretaking responsibilities or financial insecurity consistently access Flow State?
Hmmm…we’ve never thought about that.
Can I stay in Flow State forever?
Oh, that’s adorable. No, you’ll only ever be here for 22 minutes, max.