“Who thinks Oswald acted alone? Show of hands.”

“Every time I want to say potpourri, I just end up saying ‘pope pourey.’”

“You think the more expensive the veal is, the smaller the box is?”

“Anybody really gotten close to killing themselves? I mean like really close, most of the note’s finished, the noose or what have you is there. Maybe it’s not hung up, but it’s there.”

“They should put the Pulitzers on TV. I’d finally get to see what Dan Brown really looks like.”

“I would have gotten ice that was crushed or cubed, but that’s me. I don’t fuck around at dinner parties.”