Are you a writer?
Are words just pouring out of you?
Are you excited to wake up each day and get in front of that laptop with a hot cup of coffee and your latest idea?
Do you struggle experiencing life as it’s meant to be lived because you just can’t stop completing written works?
Then you’re missing out on a crucial part of the creative process if you don’t spend endless hours staring at a blank page questioning your existence. If you’re not facing crippling battles with depression, questioning your place in the universe, or not developing tendencies for getting black-out drunk, then it sounds like you need help not writing your book.
And I’d like to coach you.
Because if The Greats can go years without writing, so can you! It’s time to get back to the blank page and stay there.
I am offering exclusive classes—content I’ve never shared before—to help you get better at not writing.
What qualifies me, you ask? For starters, I’ve never written a single goddamned book.
Every day I have countless ideas for new novels, screenplays, children’s books, young adult fiction franchises, BDSM erotica, and even college dissertation and thesis papers. And I don’t have one completed manuscript to show for it.
By signing up for my class, I’ll teach you the secret art of procrastination by exploring the delicate arts of bingeing in excess on things like:
- Texting your Ex
- Stalking your Ex
- Cooking classes
- Inventing board games
- Candy Crush
- Isolating yourself from loved ones
- Sleeping in until noon
- And more!
Plus! I’ll share with you my personal and exclusive package—not available anywhere else—of time-wasting websites carefully compiled by me for those days when I’ve got an exceptional idea I just have to get on paper. This exclusive package is guaranteed to tie up hours and hours of your precious writing time.
Feeling overly confident in your work? Use my Automated Rejection Letter Generator guaranteed to bring you back down to earth with the debilitating knowledge that everyone else is a better writer than you so why even try.
My services are proven to get you to stop writing today. Just look at these testimonials:
“Max Andrew Dubinsky’s classes made me realize there are already too many books in the world. Who’s got time to read another one?” — Alex P., 45
“Thanks to Mr. Dubinsky, I’ve got so much more time in my day for Buzzfeed quizzes. Without him, I never would have known that I’m the “Ross” of my friend group!” — Steven R., 34
“Dubinsky knows his craft better than anyone. One class with him and you’ll want to stop writing immediately and start watching Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.” — Elizabeth M., 24
“Im drunk rite now and defanitely not writing.” — Todd, 29
I’m blushing. Thanks, guys and gals!
And if those testimonials weren’t enough, everyone who signs up today gets a free photocopy of some important notes I once scribbled on a cocktail napkin.
This coaching course is one-of-a-kind. And for one easy payment that includes the rights to your latest manuscript, you’ll always have a reason to not put on pants and start drinking at noon.
It’s time to stop writing, and start talking about that book you’ve always wanted to write but just don’t have the time.