A young woman on the lam stops at a spooky roadside motel where she’s met by Norman Bates, the proprietor. “Whoopsie, I forgot to flip the lights,” he says. Once he does so, the motel seems less spooky and he can see the visitor clearly. “Uh-oh. Trigger Warning: Young Women,” Bates tells her, “It’s probably best if you move along.” She safely drives off into the sunset while Bates journals about his feelings and reads them aloud at his very-much-safely-buried mother’s graveside.


A man falls in love with his friend’s mysterious wife. Upon hearing this, the wife insists that they see a psychologist as a trio, in separate sessions as duos, and on her own. Eventually, the man is so tired of talking about his feelings that when he sees another woman who looks a bit like this first woman, he just starts dating her, because it’s easier. It turns out that she’s really nice. No one falls off any church steeples in rural California, that’s for sure.

Rear Window

A man who’s holed up at home with a broken leg starts spying on his neighbors across the street through his window. “Hey!” his wife says, as she returns home from therapy. “Dr. Taylor gave me a list of 36 questions we can ask each other in order to fall in love all over again!” The man turns away from the window and soon is deep into a heartfelt discussion with his wife, completely missing the murder that takes places across the street around Question 9.

North By Northwest

Mistaken for a spy and on the run, a man stumbles into the train compartment of a beautiful woman. Before she can speak, he says, “You seem like someone with a narcissistic personality disorder. I bet you also thrive on constructing drama in order to feel more important. Good day, Madam.” At the next stop, the man is able to contact the FBI who then get in touch with the foreign agents chasing him, and the matter is resolved before dinner.

The Birds

A wealth socialite journeys to a town in Northern California where bird attacks become increasingly common. “Yes,” her therapist says, “but what do you think the birds mean?” “Are they a metaphor for the way old age and death find all of us, even the most lovely like me?” she asks. “Nailed it!” her psychologist says. They high five and she spends the rest of her vacation taking long, thoughtful walks on a seagull-free beach.