Q: How was your weekend?
A: Too short, man, too short.
Q: Would you please remove your belt, shoes, and wallet and step into this machine that will perform an intimate scan of your body?
A: Can’t complain.
Q: After we urge you to vaccinate your family against the Child-Killer Flu, shall we make the vaccine impossible to get, and then say whoops, our bad, the flu wasn’t so terrible this year after all?
A: Good to go.
Q: What if we were to add 300 or 400 more teams to the NCAA basketball tournament?
A: Have a good one.
Q: In exchange for allowing you to use our website to connect with friends and family, may we sell and otherwise make public the personal information you gave us in confidence?
A: Hanging in there.
Q: What if we just pump your favorite foods full of corn syrup without telling you?
A: You go, girl.
Q: May we see your proof of citizenship?