If you aren’t familiar with the tune, here it is, but be warned, it will be droning on in your head for the rest of the day.

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“‘Hope’ is the thing with feathers”
by Emily Dickinson

Hopey, hopey, hopey, hopey,
Feathered thing when I am mopey,
Perched in my soul—man, I hope she
Never stops singing at all!

Sweetest in the gale is heard,
Not even storms can stop this bird,
Keeps you warm, despair deferred,
I love my sister-in-law!

I think I’ll stay in tonight, my room rules!

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Gettysburg Address
by Abraham Lincoln

Lincoln, Lincoln, Lincoln, Lincoln,
Eighty-seven years ago our forefathers were thinkin’,
We’ll bring forth a new nation; now it’s shrinkin’,
We’re in a Civil War!

The world won’t note what we say here today,
(I’m just being modest, okay?),
But can’t forget the price that they paid,
My wife’s middle name is Todd!

In the USA, you can’t break away. I’m gay!

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“This Is Just To Say”
by William Carlos Williams

Plummy, plummy, plummy, plummy,
In the icebox, they were yummy,
You shouldn’t have left them there, you dummy
Nom nom nom nom nom nom!

You were probably saving them for breakfast,
With me around, no way they would last,
Sweet and cold, they really kicked ass,
I’m a plum-stealing fool!

In my fridge, I eat all the fruit. Too bad!

- - -

by William Shakespeare

To be, to be, or not to be,
That’s the question—(I might kill me,)
I’ve got troubles, a whole great big sea,
Slings and arrows really hurt!

To die, to die, to sleep no more,
End heartache and shocks the flesh is heir for,
This mortal coil’s a serious bore,
I’m named after a small ham!

Sadly, my dad is a ghost. Claudius rules!

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Pride and Prejudice
by Jane Austen

Pride and pride and prejudice,
Everyone must acknowledge this,
A rich single man must want a miss,
The hot sister’s named Jane!

Even if he’s not aware,
The neighbors plot to make a pair,
They’ll throw balls and trap him there,
The author’s also named Jane!

Colin Firth is the best Mr. Darcy. It’s true!