Look, I’ve had it up to here with fear-mongering pediatricians pushing unnecessary vaccines in the name of something called “herd immunity.” When it comes to my kids, I have to do what I think is best, which is why I’m vaccinating my child the natural way — with measles.

Little Sandrine’s experience with measles won’t be tainted by some doctor in a sterile office environment. She’ll pick up the disease that the CDC claims is “a lethal and highly contagious pathogen,” naturally, in the open air on a playground or bouncy castle. The virus will work its way out of her system and into the rest of her pre-K class on its own — as nature intended.

Unlike synthetic vaccines, which are modified by scientists in underground labs to reduce their potency, measles is completely organic. When it comes to something as crucial as fortifying my sweet baby’s immune system, I am not about to cut corners with some weak “Frankenstein” version.

As someone who was given the altered vaccine, I can tell you that it’s just not the same. There might be nothing I can do now about my high susceptibility to nasty colds, but my Sandrine won’t have to suffer, except at first, when she will suffer greatly, and perhaps later as well.

Measles is the original measles vaccine. It’s a natural method that’s been around for centuries. It was good enough for my mother and my mother’s mother and her mother before her. After pulling through a coma at the age of seven, Grandma Alice was stronger than ever despite the hearing loss and brain swelling. Nothing builds character like encephalitis.

Vaccinating with an airborne virus might seem a little unconventional, and according to my child’s pediatrician, Dr. Wong, “completely cuckoo,” but that’s just one person’s opinion backed by numerous peer-reviewed scientific studies. The literature on Facebook and Reddit tells a different story, and honestly, there are way more people on Facebook than the American Medical Associations’ website, so you tell me who the experts are.

What kind of mother would I be if, after everything I’ve learned from the message board “Vaxxing is Lying,” I trusted Dr. Wong over Steve, a blogger with more than 3,000 followers? The only people who follow Dr. Wong are nurses — five of them, six tops. He might have a fancy schmancy Harvard degree and more than 15 years of experience treating children, but Steve has devoted his entire life to serving up two things: Jamba Juice, and truth. No pharma or insurance company is footing the bill, either. Steve is saving kids on his own dime, which let’s face it, can’t be a whole lot.

When my mother decided to have me vaccinated, she didn’t have a wealth of “unsubstantiated theories” at her fingertips. She’d never read Steve’s 87-point Reddit manifesto about the detrimental long-term effects of scientists saving millions of lives. How could she have known that when doctors called the vaccine a “modern medical miracle,” it was because they had no idea how it actually works?

A five-term state representative from Arizona has demanded that we spend resources “discovering what in these vaccines is causing so much injury.” Finally, someone in politics who is brave enough to actually stand up to Big Public Health instead of fighting for socialized medicine and health care for all.

When Sandrine comes down with measles, it won’t be planned or regimented through a series of shots. It will find her spontaneously, like a game of hide and seek, as she crawls into a PlayPlace or hangs from some monkey bars. My precious angel will struggle through night after night of pneumonia in the isolation ward, drift into a meditative coma state, and build her immune system organically, as her organs shut down.

When she comes out of the coma, she’ll be stronger for it. She always did take after Grandma.