DANCE like your bonus depends on it.

LAUGH like you’re the last to understand the CEO’s joke.

LOVE like your line manager is assessing your performance (with particular emphasis on flexibility and creative problem-solving).

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SING like it’s a marketable skill.

ROMANCE like you have faith in eHarmony’s algorithms.

BELIEVE in yourself like you believe artisanal toast isn’t overpriced. That is, pretend to, so you don’t ruin brunch for everyone else.

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LIVE like no one can see the stress-related eye twitch you’ve developed.

TRAVEL like you’re going to and from work. Actually, just do that. It’s all you can afford right now.

CREATE like your idea for a fantasy novel is a realistic solution to crippling student debt and you’re oblivious to your friends’ skepticism when you drunkenly bring it up.

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EXPLORE like you still believe there’s a debt payment plan to solve your financial mess.

FEEL as deeply as an exhausted employee having a panic attack in a work toilet cubicle. Now stop feeling. And stop crying. Crying won’t pay your gym membership fees.

BREATHE like someone who remembers how to do it normally. You sound like bagpipes. Get a grip.

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TAKE RISKS like someone trying to score Ritalin from Steve in Accounts to cope with fourteen-hour workdays.

ALLOW YOURSELF TO FAIL like someone who was sacked after trying to score Ritalin when it emerged that Steve was not the Ritalin guy but instead the guy who can’t keep his mouth shut.

STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES like an unemployed person who has nothing better to do. Also, stop blaming Steve.

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SOAR like your blood pressure when you check your bank balance.

FOLLOW YOUR HEART like regret follows an online spending spree.

And always, always DREAM like you have a very limited grasp of probability.