Q&A WITH AUTHOR PHIL REDONDO
Q. Hi Phil. What’s new?
A. Just got back from Hawaii.
Q. Hope you had fun. Surf much? What else have you been up to? How’s your love life?
A. I get a lot of offers — for a wizened, balding middle-aged man. I guess it’s just the unassailable aura of self-confidence I exude. I think if I have to see any woman more than once a fortnight I suffocate. What’s up with that?
Q. [Science fiction writer] Scott W. got married in Australia to an Aussie, according to a mutual friend.
A. You marrying types. I can see Scott with one of those weird hats with the brim plastered to the side, his gangly, pasty legs poking out of khaki shorts, careening on a jeep in the outback, wildly waving the Foster’s in his hand to emphasize his rambling, esoteric points. What woman wouldn’t go for that?
Q. I heard you’ve been looking for regular employment. How’s that going?
A. I’ve been asking a lot of people for jobs — I want to work in publishing but am having trouble because of my “felonies.”
Q. The job market is tight right now, really tight.
A. I was recently introduced to Peter M., who apparently doesn’t care about criminal records.
Q. Do you want to do something next week?
I can’t see too well in the dark. My mom says it had something to do with my diet when I was a kid.