Whenever the subject of Napoleon comes up — and it comes up more often than you might expect, given that we are not French, and it’s been awhile since he’s been current — people inevitably point out that he had what is alleged to have been a very, very small penis. Which makes one wonder: What if Napoleon had had a simply gargantuan penis? Would we still mention it? “Ah, yes. Napoleon. Ruled over Europe for a time. And he had an enormous penis, you know.” For some reason, I suspect that had this been the case, we would not only not mention it, but we’d probably discuss Napoleon far, far less.
July 3, 1999
We’re making the move toward reader-supported internet humor publishing. Just $5 a month (17 cents a day!) helps us keep going and gets you exclusive access to bonus content on our Patreon page.