McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
November 7, 2014
Purchases I Plan to Make Using Sales from My New Poetry Collection
- A full tank of gas for my Toyota Corolla.
- Two bottles of Barefoot Pinot Grigio—let’s splurge, the BIG bottles!
- A reasonably flattering dress of some kind on the 70% off rack at Target. This is kind of indulgent of me, but I have a poetry reading coming up, and I figure it might be a responsible investment: if I look more fashionable, I may be able to sell more than two copies that night.
- A C17 dinner combination from my favorite Chinese restaurant, except subbing the egg roll for hot and sour soup, since their egg rolls made me sick once.
- A flu shot from a drug store walk-in clinic, since I have no health insurance and this season’s virus is supposed to be a doozy!
- A poetry collection written by a close friend that came out six months ago, but I didn’t have the money to buy then.