Like a foreign baker born with a yeast inflection.

Shaking like a Quaker in a samba line.

Ripe as a mismailed box of week old lox.

Useful as a salmon server in South Sudan.

Giddy as a laid off postal worker at an Abilene gun show.

Happy as a baleen whale at a Red Lobster’s all you can eat linguini and krill fest.

As likely as your maiden aunt Agatha doing jello shots at Coachella.