French Level 1 – 3 Rosetta Stone DVDs.

Home juicers.

My neighbor’s mail.

My buddies’ screenplays.

My screenplays.

My sister’s advanced certifications.

My nephew’s artwork.

All children’s artwork.

My nephew’s collection of de-legged insects.

My nephew’s collection of belongings that spontaneously burst into flames.

My nephew’s precocious intellectual gifts and prodigious creative talents as verified by his therapists and reported by my sister via email.

My nephew.

The remains of my brand new upholstery.

My belief in my ability to have and maintain Nice Things.

Cat litter; catshit; cat pictures; ungrateful rescue cats; cats in general; kittens.