I play a little game with my cactus Edward. I pet him gently, and he sticks me with his quills.

- - -

My friend and I drive to his parents’ Passover seder. As we pull into the driveway, he prophesies, “My grandmother will think I got married.” And it is so; she points to the olive spread and says to him, “Make a nice one for Sarah.”

- - -

I order cocktails, and we drink them. We eat the flowers that float in them. Just as I am ready to jump out of my skin, ashamed of having brought him here, to a hotel bar, of all places, he leans over to whisper in my ear in French.

- - -

The letter I send him begins, “Sweet Owl.” He writes back, “I am a tired, tired owl.”

- - -

But when I hear our song, I think I should just let myself get run over.

- - -

The trick to avoiding depression is figuring out which states of mind require vodka and which require coffee. If you can do that, you are saved.

- - -

We name our mouse, who lives in the stove, Duke.

- - -

A handy cure for self-obsession: After crying the whole length of West 79th Street, attend a dinner and sit next to your friend’s father, who is rich and terrifies you.

- - -

Duke eats poison and dies in the hallway.

- - -

After the three strongest men walk for three days across the uncharted interior to get to the port, on the other side, one says to the others that he imagined a fourth man was walking with them.

- - -

Another of the three strongest men admits that he saw him, too.