Fitness is rooted in the belief that the individual, when freed from tyranny, can push themselves to achieve optimal conditioning. By walking through the doors of Fountainhead Jiu-Jitsu, you will find the physical and mental clarity to reach your full potential. So stretch out your hamstrings and open your mind, because our instructors will walk you through the foundations of an armbar, the basic front guard position, why the Federal Reserve is unconstitutional, and how any form of prohibition on cannabis is tantamount to totalitarianism.

No need to sign a waiver; we’re all consenting adults and don’t need the nanny state’s approval for contracts. Our dojo is governed by Classical Liberal ideals, which also means that we do not wear pads for protection. Everyone knows that seat belts only lead to more traffic accidents due to a false sense of security. Having said that, while on the mat there is no biting. No scratching. Or eye gouging. No striking the head of a grounded opponent. Groin attacks are right out. Okay, so maybe we do need some regulations, but only the barest of bare minimums to keep society functioning.

Despite what you might see in the UFC octagon, Brazilian jiu-jitsu is not an aggressive martial art. Rather, it is based on efficiency, patience, and control. The only legitimate use of force is in defense of individual rights, and we’ll teach you how to fight back against both a kimura lock and a financial system that is rigged by Soros-backed global elites. You tap out only when you say so. Passing out in a rear naked choke and losing consciousness / bowel control is more dignified than submitting to an illegal DEA search and seizure.

BJJ is a self-defense that, above all, defends personal liberties. The highest of which is the freedom of speech and expression. This is good, because whether it’s the intricacies of a new kneebar technique or how Edward Snowden will be vindicated by history, it’s all you will want to talk about from this point on.

After months of training, you will have honed your fighting technique, but we advise against getting into physical altercations. Particularly foreign conflicts that only benefit neocon warmongers and defense contractors. Iraq. Afghanistan. Vietnam. The Spanish-American War. Name the last US-backed entry into foreign policy that didn’t turn into a boondoggle. Your energy is better spent here at home, on the mat, working on triangle choke variations and tweeting about repealing the Jones Act.

Great cardio is nothing without a strong mindset. We offer a free library (no need for a city-run bureaucracy to inspire literacy), which currently includes: The Black Belt Blueprint, Breathe by Rickson Gracie, numerous copies of Watchmen (lots to learn from Rorschach), and a handwritten transcript of Ron Paul’s biweekly podcast.

Some have accused us of being a libertarian outfit, but we rise above ideology. Ideologies and -isms constrain and damage the free flow of ideas. We loathe collectivism. And that is what unites us. We welcome all perspectives, especially dissenting viewpoints. But please know that while in this space, you will more than likely be around people who share all your opinions.

We are merely mixed martial artists who care about fitness, recognize natural dominance hierarchies, and like to be left alone to our own devices, namely training on the mat and complaining about whoever is in power while not offering any concrete suggestions of our own on how to improve the world, other than “just stay out of it.” Exactly as the BJJ Founders intended.

I remember back when I first discovered jiu-jitsu. I was stuck inside the ideological indoctrination of the CrossFit cult. Thankfully I found Sensei Rob. He taught me discipline, helped me earn my purple belt, and opened my eyes to what’s going on in Yemen. I mean, are you even aware of what’s happening in Yemen? How your tax dollars are funding a campaign that starves children and destabilizes the region? Both administrations could have stopped the war, but their masters at Northrop Grumman wouldn’t let them. Ugh. Anyway, Rob coaches on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. Highly recommended.

You have been fed a narrative by the failed workouts that dominate the mainstream. Thanks to BJJ, you are free to write your own. Free to think for yourself. Free to be an individual. Now put on your identical white gi, listen to your coach, follow along in this series of drills, and prepare yourself for a battle that will never happen.