#999-99-9999: Overlord status, unless one other person is born, in which case you must squash the revolt while your wife protects the gold in your pyramid.

#800-XX-XXXX class: You’re in charge of the phones.

#723-67-7253: No one will even care about you. You’re just an upper middle class random number with upper middle class random number problems.

#555-55-5555: Everyone will use your number as a placeholder for everything. A future of mediocrity awaits you and your 555-55-XXXX class offspring.

#478-53-0000’s: Nice try, alphanumeric cipher class.

#’s 100-XX-XXXX through 400-XX-XXXX class: The largest single group. Consistently votes against self interest by allure of reaching 900-XX-XXX status, but only a naïve 245-06-5000’er type could believe that was possible.

#001-01-1001: Binary class. Would-be kings continue to diminish in number due to historical truth that math nerds don’t reproduce, even in the future.

#’s 000-00-0001 through 000-99-9999: Thanks for providing the fuel (re: yourself) for the 001-00-0000 class’s jet packs. We couldn’t afford your medical bills anyway, and the death panel thing just seemed really unfair.

Good night, and 4663 5825.