Articles by
Alex Kane
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August 31, 2016Letters from the Front Lines of Donald Trump’s Social Media Team
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July 8, 2016I’m Tired of “Well-Meaning” Parents Interfering When My Toddler and I Rob a Liquor Store
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February 26, 2013Monologue: White House Press Secretary Has a Few Words About the Secret Kill List
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September 25, 2012Monologue: Please Don’t Raise My Benevolent Billionaire Employer’s Taxes
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February 28, 2007Monologue: An Excerpt From the Lindale High School Graduation Valedictorian Speech by Samuel Clark, Who Ate the Brains of His Fellow Students to Increase His Intelligence
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June 15, 2006The 700 Club Does Weather
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April 4, 2018Fifty-Six Questions for Young MC Upon Hearing “Bust a Move” for the First Time in Twenty-Two Years
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April 10, 2018List: Horoscopes for Librarians
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March 19, 2018I’m Going to Close This Deal Using Business Words I’ve Heard Men Yell in Airports
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April 6, 2018We Deeply Regret Hiring the Perpetrators of the Salem Witch Trials as Opinion Columnists
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April 19, 2018A Poem About Your University’s Absolute and Unwavering Appreciation of Its Faculty in Spite of Said Faculty’s Crap Salaries
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April 19, 2018List: Things I, an Affluent White Cis Male, Have Gotten Away With In a Starbucks
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April 19, 2018The Diary of a Settler of Catan
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April 18, 2018The First Female President