McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Articles by
Andrew Palmer
Andrew Palmer is a writer in Holyoke, MA.
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November 2, 2017How You Can Help Me Sell My Book
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December 4, 2014I’m Renovating My Kitchen So I Can Start Life Anew With No Regrets
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September 2, 2014My Marriage Will Crumble If We Can’t Find a New Television Show to Watch
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April 11, 2013I’m a Man Who Subscribes to Men’s Interest Magazines
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September 8, 2011Jenna, Take Me Back, I’m Newly Muscular
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February 1, 2010You Don’t Know Me
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October 12, 2009If I Were Built
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January 30, 2019Monologue: I Am a Stryker-X Assault Backpack, and This Airport Lounge Is an Insult
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September 19, 2017If Bostonians Loved Other Local Institutions the Way They Love Their Local Sports Franchises
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February 4, 2019I Am a Pacific Northwest Man on Tinder and I Will Die If I Go Indoors
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February 8, 2019List: Word Problems for the Race Conscious
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February 15, 2019How to Finish Your Dissertation Before the Heat Death and Gradual Extinction of the Universe
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February 15, 2019List: Six Reasons Why You Should Vote for Me, Old White Man Corpse, in 2020
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February 15, 2019Spoiler Alerts From the Passenger Scheduled to Sit Beside You On Your Next Flight
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February 14, 2019Teasers for the Hallmark Channel’s Valentine’s Day Movie Lineup