SPECIAL DECORATIVE-GOURD-RELATED PROMOTION!
Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron at $10 (or more) a month, and receive a free It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers tote bag. (Offer ends October 1st.)
Ariel Felton has written for The Progressive, The Bitter Southerner, Under the Gum Tree, Atlas Obscura, Scalawag, Savannah Magazine, and Reductress. She also writes a monthly book review column “Well, Lit,” published in Do Savannah. She has no kids, but her parents love Ariel’s two cats as if they were their biological grandkids.