ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Brian Bennett
Brian performs in Chicago, under no pseudonym.
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January 29, 2019I Love How Our Country Has Made Me Obscenely Wealthy, and That’s Why I Am Seriously Considering Running for President as a Centrist Independent
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August 17, 2018Welcome to The Middle, an Enchanted Land Where Compromise and Civility Get Results
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September 27, 2017Buzzfeed’s Coverage of the Nuclear Apocalypse (Sponsored by Sobe® Lifewater®)
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August 3, 2017Help Save Democracy By Passively Receiving Our Fundraising Emails
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March 6, 2017I Have Traveled Here From the Present to Warn You About Global Warming
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May 17, 2016Hi, I Am a Delegate — A Non-Superdelegate
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June 28, 2022We Are an Anti-Abortion Couple, and Don’t Worry, We Will Adopt Your Baby
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June 14, 2022My Favorite Controlled Substance Is Daycare
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June 17, 2021What Your Favorite ’90s Rock Band Says About the Type of Bored Suburban Dad You Are Today
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January 14, 2022What Your Favorite Sad Dad Band Says About You
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June 30, 2022I’d Rather Drag Your Lifeless Body from This Party Than Wait Here While You Go to the Bathroom
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June 30, 2022Your Kids Have Been Totally Off Screens and Playing Outside for the Entire Fifteen Minutes Before You Arrived to Pick Them Up
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June 30, 2022I Know What’s Best For You All Over the World: An IUD Called Aunty Fatima
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June 30, 2022Why I Am Not a Writer