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Articles by
C.L. Mah
C.L. Mah lives, works, writes, and contemplates the demise of humanity in Minneapolis.
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April 16, 2021My Two-Year-Old’s Guide to Potty Training Your Parents
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December 30, 2019My Three-Month-Old’s Guide to Sleep Training Your Parents
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October 2, 2018“We’re Pregnant,” Said a Man
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July 6, 2018Completely Neutral, Race-Blind College Admissions Questions
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February 6, 2017Application Requirements for Becoming Our Couple Friends
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December 11, 2014I Am a Police Officer Whose Use of Lethal Force is Perfectly Consistent
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January 14, 2014Living the Dream: The Life of a Senior Search Engine Marketing Specialist
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May 16, 2013I Don’t See Race
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January 24, 2013The Middle Manager’s Oath
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August 30, 2012I Am a Job Creator
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September 30, 2009A Literal-Minded Corporate Executive Gives the Opening Address at his Company’s Sales Conference
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April 15, 2009Excerpts From My 2008 Tax Return, Form 1040EZ
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January 24, 2023Macroeconomic Changes Have Made It Impossible for Me to Want to Pay You
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January 27, 2023The Narrator of “Jessie’s Girl” Offers an Apology after Completing His Master’s in Women’s and Gender Studies
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January 10, 2023Fifteen Long-Overdue Slang Terms for Female Masturbation
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October 30, 2009Letters From the Hellbox: Caslon, Baskerville, and Franklin: Revolutionary Types
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February 9, 2023Since When Is It Not Okay to Kick a Guy in the Balls Anymore?
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February 8, 2023Notes for the Writers’ Room of the Second Cold War
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February 8, 2023Who Is the GOAT: Jordan, Lebron, or Pythagoras?
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February 7, 2023The Jedi Academy Will No Longer Teach Anakin Skywalker’s Massacre of the Younglings