Articles by
Dan Hopper
Dan Hopper is an editor for Cracked, previously for CollegeHumor and BestWeekEver.tv. He fires off consistent A-minus tweets at @DanHopp.
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January 19, 2018I’ve Been Asking Trump Voters Every Couple Seconds If They Still Support the President
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November 9, 2017Guys, Hear Me Out: Eight. Dollar. Coffees.
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November 6, 2017The Chicago Mentioner
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February 1, 2017We Need to Defund Planned Parenthood Immediately — as Soon as I Get My Dick Out of This Honey Pot
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November 18, 2016I’m So Mad About Trump Getting Elected, I’m Going to Do Exactly the Same Stuff, Only More So
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September 15, 2016I Went to a Trump Rally. What I Found There Was a Bunch of Other Journalists Already Writing This Article
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April 4, 2018Fifty-Six Questions for Young MC Upon Hearing “Bust a Move” for the First Time in Twenty-Two Years
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April 10, 2018List: Horoscopes for Librarians
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March 19, 2018I’m Going to Close This Deal Using Business Words I’ve Heard Men Yell in Airports
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April 6, 2018We Deeply Regret Hiring the Perpetrators of the Salem Witch Trials as Opinion Columnists
Recently
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April 19, 2018A Poem About Your University’s Absolute and Unwavering Appreciation of Its Faculty in Spite of Said Faculty’s Crap Salaries
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April 19, 2018List: Things I, an Affluent White Cis Male, Have Gotten Away With In a Starbucks
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April 19, 2018The Diary of a Settler of Catan
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April 18, 2018The First Female President