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Articles by
Eric Schulmiller
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June 3, 2016STEM for Dogs
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April 20, 2016Passover Seder: A Thrilling New Escape the Room Experience!
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February 19, 2016Unauthorized Distribution of Your Childhood Violates Federal Copyright Law
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December 18, 2015Famous First Lines of Novels, Written in Increasingly-Convoluted Yoda Syntax by a Writer Lazily Trying to Cash in On Star Wars Mania
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September 26, 2014A Confessional Prayer for 5776
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November 22, 2023Post-Dinner Interview with a Twelve-Year-Old Who Sat at the Grown-Ups’ Table for the First Time on Thanksgiving
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February 23, 2012Lines from The Princess Bride That Double as Comments on Freshman Composition Papers
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September 2, 2021Oh My Fucking God, Get the Fucking Vaccine Already, You Fucking Fucks
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November 14, 2023In the Office Auto-Reply Emails for a Hybrid Work Schedule
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December 4, 2023I’m a Holiday Gift Guide Writer, and I Really Need You Pricks to Start Playing Backgammon
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December 4, 2023Bitchslap: A Column About Women and Fighting: Fun Train to Fightville
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December 4, 2023The National Lyrics or Things My Dad Says While Refusing to Check Google Maps?
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December 2, 2023“Just Say the Word, and I’ll Bring My Whole Heart to Anything”: Remembering Gabe Hudson