ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
John Long
John Long is a creative director who lives in New York.
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October 26, 2021To Win in 2022, Republicans Must Fight Cancel Culture and Fire Anyone Who Teaches Critical Race Theory
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July 15, 2019It’s Time for Us Republicans to Reject Trump’s Blatant Bigotry and Return to Good Old Fashioned Dog-Whistle Race-Baiting
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May 23, 2019The Thing I Need Most In My Life Right Now Is a Purpose-Driven Paper Towel Brand
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July 6, 2018I Was Going to Vote Democrat This November Until All This Incivility Forced Me Back On the Trump Train
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September 18, 2017Don’t Shame Me for Not Vaccinating My Labradoodle
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May 19, 2017Trump Voters Are Still Cautiously Optimistic
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April 11, 201710 Terms to Be Used by United Airlines Personnel When Addressing the Public
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July 29, 2022Thank You for Calling the Perimenopause Hotline, Where Our Hold Times Are Completely Unpredictable
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August 31, 2017How to Log In to the Student Portal
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August 5, 2022An Open Letter to the White Mommy Blogger Who Posted a Recipe for Turmeric Energy Balls
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August 4, 2022For My Next Death-Defying Stunt, I Will Ride My Bike in This Bike Lane
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August 19, 2022Teach a Man to Fish and He Will Eat for a Lifetime, So Long As He Can Provide His Own Rod and Have a Way of Getting to the Pond
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August 19, 2022Short Conversations with Poets: Richie Hofmann
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August 19, 2022Even the Sophists Hate That One Guy in Your Graduate Seminar
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August 18, 2022“Just Do This and Ten Thousand Other Things”: A Teacher’s Back-to-School Lament