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Articles by
John Long
John Long is a creative director who lives in New York.
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July 15, 2019It’s Time for Us Republicans to Reject Trump’s Blatant Bigotry and Return to Good Old Fashioned Dog-Whistle Race-Baiting
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May 23, 2019The Thing I Need Most In My Life Right Now Is a Purpose-Driven Paper Towel Brand
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July 6, 2018I Was Going to Vote Democrat This November Until All This Incivility Forced Me Back On the Trump Train
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September 18, 2017Don’t Shame Me for Not Vaccinating My Labradoodle
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May 19, 2017Trump Voters Are Still Cautiously Optimistic
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April 11, 201710 Terms to Be Used by United Airlines Personnel When Addressing the Public
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January 14, 2021I Am the Designer of This Restaurant’s Outdoor Seating Space, and This Is My Artist’s Statement
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January 13, 2021Excerpts from the Sex and the City Revival in Which Samantha Is Replaced with Fran Lebowitz
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January 20, 2021Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1-1,056
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January 20, 2021A Conservative’s Guide to Preparing for a Biden Presidency
Recently
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January 22, 2021Llama Llama Remote-Learning Drama
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January 22, 2021Eight Famous Poems Rewritten by Your Asshole Cat
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January 22, 2021Now That I Am Old Enough to Enroll in Medicare, I Am Against Socialized Medicine
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January 21, 2021I Am a Disappointed Biden Voter Who Was Told He’d Immediately Implement Communist Rule