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Articles by
John Long
John Long is a creative director who lives in New York.
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October 26, 2021To Win in 2022, Republicans Must Fight Cancel Culture and Fire Anyone Who Teaches Critical Race Theory
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July 15, 2019It’s Time for Us Republicans to Reject Trump’s Blatant Bigotry and Return to Good Old Fashioned Dog-Whistle Race-Baiting
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May 23, 2019The Thing I Need Most In My Life Right Now Is a Purpose-Driven Paper Towel Brand
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July 6, 2018I Was Going to Vote Democrat This November Until All This Incivility Forced Me Back On the Trump Train
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September 18, 2017Don’t Shame Me for Not Vaccinating My Labradoodle
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May 19, 2017Trump Voters Are Still Cautiously Optimistic
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April 11, 201710 Terms to Be Used by United Airlines Personnel When Addressing the Public
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July 15, 2024I Can’t Believe Such a Hateful, Violent Act Could Happen in the Hateful, Violent Era I’ve Created
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July 12, 2024Schedule of Speakers for the 2024 Republican National Convention
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July 16, 2024Hillbilly Elegy Edited for J. D. Vance’s Vice Presidential Campaign
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May 10, 2024What Your Favorite ’90s Band Says About the Kind of Bored Suburban Mom You Are Today
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July 26, 2024I’m a Childless Cat Lady, and If Trump and Vance Win I’m Going to Start a Sexual Relationship with My Couch
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July 26, 2024Skills You Need as President of the United States or Skills You Need as a Stepmom?
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July 26, 2024If They’d Told Me We Were Poor, I Wouldn’t Have Tolerated the Cynics
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July 26, 2024We Went Ahead and Made an AI Olympian