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March 26, 2010Cinderella Story Miscues
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November 24, 2009Macy’s Balloon Task Force Holds Post Parade Press Conference
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August 11, 2009Excerpts From Induction Speeches Into the Taxidermy Hall of Fame
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March 13, 2009Marvel Comics Backs Out of My Publishing Contract
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November 11, 2008Q&A With the Head of My Carpool
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October 14, 2008The Economic Crisis Hits the Markson Family Monopoly Board
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July 16, 2008Field Notes on the Arctic Tern
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March 3, 2008Observational Notes for the Veterinarian Regarding My Dog Hank
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October 23, 2007What Happened After I Lost My Guardian Angel: A Timeline
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June 29, 2007E Mail Chain Re: The Vernon Wilkes Explosion
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February 19, 2021I’m a Short Afternoon Walk and You’re Putting Way Too Much Pressure on Me
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February 22, 2021The UX on this Small Child Is Terrible
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February 24, 2021I Oppose the Democrats’ Plan to Lower Child Poverty. If Kids Want to Eat, They Should Work In Filthy Factories Like They Did in the Good Old Days
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February 16, 2021As a Superhero Teacher, I Can’t Wait to Sacrifice My Unvaccinated Life for Your Child
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February 26, 2021The Cure’s “Friday I’m in Love” for Nihilists
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February 26, 2021As a Staunch Defender of American Liberty, I Refuse to Let Trans People Infringe on My Rights as a White, Straight, Cisgender Congresswoman from Georgia
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February 26, 2021You’re Having a Bad Trip, Charlie Brown!
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February 25, 2021714 Epidemiologists on When We Can Resume Fixating on Petty Bullshit