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Articles by
Melissa Bell
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May 12, 2005Things Heard During John Cage’s Folsom Prison Performance of “4’33”."
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February 16, 2005Ways Jesus Saves
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October 1, 2004Really Boring Books for Children
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May 3, 2004My Heart Belongs to Puff Daddy: Proposed New Names for Sean “P. Diddy” Combs in Honor of St. Valentine’s Day
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October 27, 2003Creepy Clown under the Bed’s Telepathic Message to Child in Bed, Age Five and a Half
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January 7, 2002Foods and Beverages That Are Bad for You
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November 5, 2001Nine Words Probably Not Ever Found in Personal Ads
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April 30, 2020The Girl From Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8er Boi” Responds 18 Years Later
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June 26, 2020A Message from Your University’s Vice President for Magical Thinking
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June 24, 2020Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing (So Far): Atrocities 1-759
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June 22, 2020I’m the Guy Setting Off Fireworks Every Night In Your Neighborhood and I Have You Right Where I Want You
Recently
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July 3, 2020
Of Plague and Plenty -
July 3, 2020It’s Time to Sign the Declaration of Independence, and I, Elbridge Gerry, Will Have the Biggest Signature of All
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July 2, 2020The Best Thing About Each Amendment in the Bill of Rights, in Haiku
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July 2, 2020Kink-Shaming and a Cover-Up: Benjamin Franklin and the Story of the US Standard Measurement System