McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Articles by
Melissa Bell
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May 12, 2005Things Heard During John Cage’s Folsom Prison Performance of “4’33”."
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February 16, 2005Ways Jesus Saves
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October 1, 2004Really Boring Books for Children
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May 3, 2004My Heart Belongs to Puff Daddy: Proposed New Names for Sean “P. Diddy” Combs in Honor of St. Valentine’s Day
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October 27, 2003Creepy Clown under the Bed’s Telepathic Message to Child in Bed, Age Five and a Half
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January 7, 2002Foods and Beverages That Are Bad for You
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November 5, 2001Nine Words Probably Not Ever Found in Personal Ads
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January 15, 2025A Marriage Proposal Spoken Entirely in Office Jargon
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January 8, 2025Did You Even Consider Every Possible Lived Experience Before Recklessly Posting Your Chili Recipe on Social Media?
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January 9, 2025I Will Pay Any Amount to Not Pay My Taxes
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January 15, 2025Signs You Are a Gen-Xer Who’s About to Turn Sixty
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January 17, 2025Who Said It: Donald Trump or Martin Luther King Jr.?
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January 17, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: An Interview with Annie Leibovitz
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January 17, 2025It’s About Time Our Government Finally Reflects the Real America—An Airport Terminal at 10 a.m. on a Weekday
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January 16, 2025A Pre-Game Pep Talk by a College Football Coach Who Recently Audited a Class on Nietzschean Thought