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“An enduring literary presence.”
—Chicago Tribune
Articles by
Riane Konc
Riane Konc is a writer whose work appears in The New Yorker, The New York Times, Reductress, The Rumpus, and more.
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January 27, 2020A Statement From Secretary Mike Pompeo Regarding the Amount of Blank World Maps In His House
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November 15, 2019FAQ: Your New Houseplant
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September 26, 2019Thank You for Coming to Our Used Clothing Store to Sell Your Ugly Garbage Clothes
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August 6, 2019We Must Defend Thanos’s Constitutional Right to Snap His Fingers and Make Half of the Universe Disappear
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March 8, 2019Congratulations On Your Accomplishment!
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February 19, 2019Rihanna’s “Bitch Better Have My Money,” Expanded for Freelancers
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January 11, 2019If You Liked Tough Mudder, You’ll Love the Latest Obstacle Course for Adults… NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION
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December 21, 2018The Re-Gifts of the Wise Men
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December 19, 2018The Myth of Paul Ryan
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December 3, 2018FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: The Birth of Samuel Allen Novak
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July 9, 2018Every Single Possible Way I Have Attempted to Repurpose Nabokov’s Famous Line “(Picnic, Lightning)”
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May 11, 2018One Small Blow Against Encroaching Totalitarianism: She is New Here
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September 2, 2021Oh My Fucking God, Get the Fucking Vaccine Already, You Fucking Fucks
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September 7, 2021A Short Quiz for My Students in Lieu of Asking About Their Vaccine Status or Requesting That They Wear Masks
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October 9, 2009It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 8, 2021Wake Up, Sailors, Scurvy Is a Hoax
Recently
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September 17, 2021Our Faculty Success Initiative Redefines Everything You Thought You Knew About “Faculty” and “Success”
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September 17, 2021Adam and Eve Decide Who Should Be in Charge of Childbirth
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September 16, 2021The Founders Would Like to Remind You They’ve Been Dead for Nearly Two Hundred Years
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September 16, 2021Updated COVID Guidelines: A Flow Chart Wrapped in a Riddle Shrouded in a Clusterfuck