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Articles by
Robert Rooney
Robert Rooney has a wife and two kids. He lives in Connecticut. He is short and near-sighted. He works in advertising. People usually call him “Rooney.”
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November 23, 2022How to Brine a Turkey by H.P. Lovecraft
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July 22, 2021The European Men’s Beach Volleyball Disciplinary Commission Defends Its Banana Hammock Rule
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December 16, 2020The Cashier from “The Christmas Shoes” Breaks His Silence
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November 11, 2020Say “Megan Follows Is the Best Anne of Green Gables” or I’ll Beat the Living Shit Out of You
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September 22, 2023It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 15, 2023Son, You’re Old Enough to Know the Truth, There is No Such Thing as the “Invisible Hand of the Market”
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September 22, 2023Welcome to Rosalita’s Boarding House for Girls and Women Rescued by Bruce Springsteen from Dead-End Small Towns
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September 18, 2023Who Made This Hummus?