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Articles by
Robert Rooney
Robert Rooney has a wife and two kids. He lives in Connecticut. He is short and near-sighted. He works in advertising. People usually call him “Rooney.”
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December 12, 2023How Every Recipe on The Great British Baking Show Sounds to Us Die-Hard American Viewers
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July 22, 2021The European Men’s Beach Volleyball Disciplinary Commission Defends Its Banana Hammock Rule
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December 16, 2020The Cashier from “The Christmas Shoes” Breaks His Silence
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November 11, 2020Say “Megan Follows Is the Best Anne of Green Gables” or I’ll Beat the Living Shit Out of You
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November 23, 2016How to Brine a Turkey, by H.P. Lovecraft
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July 15, 2024I Can’t Believe Such a Hateful, Violent Act Could Happen in the Hateful, Violent Era I’ve Created
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July 12, 2024Schedule of Speakers for the 2024 Republican National Convention
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July 16, 2024Hillbilly Elegy Edited for J. D. Vance’s Vice Presidential Campaign
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May 10, 2024What Your Favorite ’90s Band Says About the Kind of Bored Suburban Mom You Are Today
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July 26, 2024I’m a Childless Cat Lady, and If Trump and Vance Win I’m Going to Start a Sexual Relationship with My Couch
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July 26, 2024Skills You Need as President of the United States or Skills You Need as a Stepmom?
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July 26, 2024If They’d Told Me We Were Poor, I Wouldn’t Have Tolerated the Cynics
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July 26, 2024We Went Ahead and Made an AI Olympian