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Articles by
Robert Rooney
Robert Rooney has a wife and two kids. He lives in Connecticut. He is short and near-sighted. He works in advertising. People usually call him “Rooney.”
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December 12, 2023How Every Recipe on The Great British Baking Show Sounds to Us Die-Hard American Viewers
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July 22, 2021The European Men’s Beach Volleyball Disciplinary Commission Defends Its Banana Hammock Rule
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December 16, 2020The Cashier from “The Christmas Shoes” Breaks His Silence
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November 11, 2020Say “Megan Follows Is the Best Anne of Green Gables” or I’ll Beat the Living Shit Out of You
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November 23, 2016How to Brine a Turkey, by H.P. Lovecraft
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March 10, 2025As an American Jew, I Feel Completely Reassured for My Safety Now That Trump Has Targeted the Epicenter of American Antisemitism, Columbia University
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March 6, 2025Killing Baby Boomers Will Save the United States Government Trillions
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March 7, 2025Happy National Women’s Day from the White House
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March 7, 2025Make America Suck Again
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March 19, 2025We Are Free-Speech Absolutists, Unless You Say Something We Disagree With, In Which Case, You’re a Terrorist
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March 19, 2025We Regret to Inform You We Will No Longer Sponsor Your Pride Parade
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March 18, 2025Senator Schumer Votes to Let the Big Wooden Horse into Troy
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March 18, 2025Despite Massive Cuts to Higher Ed, We Faculty Are Thrilled about Our New Multi-Million-Dollar Football Coach