ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Ryan Abbott
Ryan Abbott is a writer based in Vancouver.
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April 15, 2019The Perfect Marathon Pacing Strategy Is to Rip It
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November 15, 2017Please, Turn On Notifications
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February 24, 2017I Am Interested in Going to an Event Near You Tomorrow
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November 28, 2016I Bet You’re Really Fun at Parties
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May 7, 2014Waiting for Flashmob
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October 25, 2011My Emergency Contact Information
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October 14, 2009Miles Davis’s Container Gardening Tips
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May 13, 2022Ten Possibilities the Applebee’s Waitress Considers Before It Occurs to Her the Women in Booth Fourteen Might Be a Couple with Two Children
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May 18, 2022A Passenger’s One-Star Review of the Trolley Ride from the Trolley Problem
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November 13, 2018If People Talked to Other Professionals the Way They Talk to Teachers
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May 13, 2022A Modest Proposal for Solving the Baby Formula Shortage
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May 24, 2022A User Manual for Your New Home Alarm System, D.O.G.
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May 24, 2022I Know What’s Best For You All Over the World: Scarlet Letter
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May 24, 2022An Open Letter to Women’s Magazines Who Promote Body Positivity with Totally Not Photoshopped Images of Naked Celebrities
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May 23, 2022Our Empire Can’t Afford Both Bread and Circuses, So from Here on Out No More Bread, Just Circuses