McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON

Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free. Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today.

Touch Me:
A Column About Massage

Christy Vannoy has been massaging people for far longer than she originally planned. Sometimes, while her client sleeps, she composes little stories in her mind. They are about massage, and yet they are not. She swears this is the year she will finally write them down. She says that every year. This year she means it. She meant it last year, too